No Love Lost Read online

  Rene closed the door behind him and he was left with the one woman in the world he shouldn’t be alone with, the one woman in the world who could wreck him. And there was a whole dungeon down there they could play in.

  No. He wasn’t going there. Not even if she wanted to. Which she wouldn’t because Kim wasn’t into the lifestyle. She was vanilla.

  Except hadn’t she always been open to anything he wanted to try? Hadn’t she been the one to push him to keep things sexy between the two of them?

  She set her duffel down on the bistro table and moved to the small pantry. “Are you hungry? I can probably put something together. Oh, thank god we’re in France.” She pulled out a bottle of wine. “It’s a Pinot. I know you prefer beer.”

  “I’ll drink anything right now.” He shouldn’t, but if there had been a bottle of Scotch, he might have sucked it down like water. “It’s been a day. You know we’re going to have to talk about it.”

  He’d given her time, but they would have to go over what Levi had done to her, what he’d said. He knew that fucker, and Levi liked to talk, so he had likely discussed his plans with her.

  “Talk about what?” She opened a drawer and came back with a corkscrew. “I mean we probably have a lot to talk about. It’s been ten years, after all.”

  “We’ve talked since the divorce.” It might have been one of their problems.

  “We’ve argued. You’ve yelled and I reacted. That’s not a discussion.”

  “Well, I didn’t think there was anything to discuss after you got my brother killed.”

  She stopped, going still as though she needed a moment to absorb the blow.

  His anger was his greatest flaw. He knew, but he couldn’t quite tamp it down. “I didn’t mean to say that.”

  “But you still believe it. That’s good to know. We were halfway civil in England. I almost hoped you’d forgiven me.”

  His jaw actually clenched to keep the words in. How could he forgive her?

  Her eyes came up. “You might as well say it. You know you want to. You’ll feel better if you get it off your chest.”

  But he wouldn’t. That had been their problem. He’d raged at her time and time again and it never seemed to quell his anger. He shoved down the need to rehash their old issues. Why should he bother when they had so many new issues to get through? “I would rather talk about what happened today.”

  She pulled the cork and went to work finding glasses. “I’ll write up a report. I think it’s safe to say Levi is back in good with the big bosses.”

  He took a long breath and forced himself to sit on the couch.

  It wasn’t comfortable. It was kind of lumpy.

  “Yes. I think we can safely say whatever was on the files we picked up here in Paris was enough to get them to overlook everything Levi’s done in the last couple of years.” Like work with drug dealing generals and shoot operatives who didn’t agree with him. The Agency had picked teams and it looked like everything had come up Levi’s way.

  She poured two glasses of the wine. “I know what he has. The question is will the Agency admit they have it.”

  “What is that?”

  She put the glass in front of him, moved her duffel to the floor, and sat down across from him. “There was a ton of information about who McDonald worked with. Some real. Some placed in there for blackmail purposes, like me. But the other thing you need to understand is that Levi has the formulary for McDonald’s drug.”

  He felt the hairs on his arm stand up. That drug had taken everything from the Lost Boys, and he’d prayed they’d destroyed it utterly. “Tell me it’s not the final formulary.”

  “No, but I worry that’s out there somewhere.”

  He happened to know otherwise. “I’m going to tell you something that I hope you don’t feel necessary to share with the Agency when you get back.”

  Her eyes widened. “Get back? I don’t think my job will be waiting for me at the end of this. Once you get burned it’s very hard to rejoin, and I wouldn’t ever move up again. You know that. They offered to let you return but you walked away. I always wondered if that was more about giving me the finger than not wanting your job back.”

  “It wasn’t about you.” Seeing her had been the only reason to remain at the Agency, even though he’d known how unhealthy it was to stay around her. “It was about…everything. It was about what happened in Africa. It was about what happened in Mexico. It was about my brother.”

  “If it was about your brother then it was about me. You can’t separate the two of us in your head anymore.” She stared at the wall behind him, her eyes a bit glassy. She suddenly shook her head and her eyes cleared. “I won’t be going back to the Agency. I don’t know what I’ll do, but even if I managed to get rid of Levi, there will always be people there who hate me. After what happened this morning, I don’t think I can trust anyone there. So you can tell me anything. Despite our trouble, I’ve always been on your side.”

  She’d worked hard to try to get his job back. He knew she was one of the reasons the Agency hadn’t come after him harder when he’d left. Big Tag had been another, but Kim had actively worked to keep him safe. He could trust her in this. “I helped Big Tag destroy the final formulary. We found it at the secondary base here in France. I came in a few hours after they freed Theo. Big Tag thought it would be good to have an Agency operative there so he would have accountability. He picked me because he knew I would do what he wanted. He knew I would help destroy that woman’s work and I would cover for him. Not even the rest of the group knew I was there until later. It’s all gone.”

  “Well, the first versions of it are now in Levi’s hands, and I assure you, he means to perfect it all over again.” She sighed and took a sip. “Like I said, I’ll write it up tonight.”

  “I would rather you told me. I was surprised. The fucker finally managed to shock me. When I realized something was going wrong, I thought it would be me he arrested.”

  “Only because you fundamentally misunderstand what Levi wants out of this war we’re in.”

  “Oh, I understand. He wants you. He wants to be able to say he took you from me.”

  She laughed, though the sound held not an ounce of true amusement. “You genuinely think he’s doing this to prove he’s better than you? That’s why you were surprised?”

  “He hates me.”

  “No, babe. He hates me and that’s why he fucks with you. You think this war is between you and Levi and that I’m some pathetic prize one of you gets at the end, but you’re wrong. I’m not blaming you for thinking that way. I did for a long time, too. But I hate to burst your bubble. You’re incidental to this war because it would have happened whether or not you showed up.”

  His first instinct was to argue with her. This was obviously something between himself and Levi. After all, he’d been shot by the fucker and left for dead, not her. But arguing wouldn’t solve anything. “Why do you think that? You know he’s hated me pretty much from the moment we met.”

  “You were a prick to him, but then he was annoying and trying to show off for me,” she replied. “Though I didn’t realize it at the time.”

  He’d met Kim when she was in training. She and Levi had been members of the same class. They’d been in a seminar that Ezra hadn’t intended to teach. He’d only been working for a few years longer than their training class. “He didn’t understand geopolitics the way he thought he did. He was a showoff, and I put him in his place. It was the incident that proved to the instructors I wasn’t cut out to be one of them.”

  But he’d noticed her. He’d taken over three days of lectures on the political situations in smaller, often overlooked countries. Levi had been an ass, but he’d noticed the woman with all the blonde hair and the smile like sunshine. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her and when he’d found out she frequented a bar in Foggy Bottom, he’d found himself hanging out there more and more. It had been before he’d gone into the field, when he’d been an analys
t.

  “See, he’s always wanted to get back at me for that,” he replied. “You don’t understand the male psyche. I wounded his pride that day.”

  “And I wounded it when I wouldn’t love him back.”

  He felt his spine straighten. He didn’t want to hear about what she’d done with Levi before she’d met him. Sometimes he thought half their fights had been about that fucker. If she needed to believe she was the center of the universe, then he was going to let her. “There’s no point in discussing ancient history.”

  She sat back. “Of course there isn’t. I’m going to pull up the laptop. I’ll stay on the couch tonight.”

  “I can handle the couch.”

  She stood up and grabbed the sleek computer and brought it back to the table. “I’m going to check my messages. I want to see if he called.”

  “By he, you mean Levi?” She wanted to know if he’d left her a damn message? “You so desperate to hear his voice?”

  She didn’t look up at him, merely stared at the screen. “The door is that way, Beck. You should feel free to use it.” She sighed and looked up at him. “If you won’t talk about the past with me, could you at least not accuse me of things you don’t understand? That man has ruined my life in numerous ways. You don’t want to hear about it? I get it, but you can keep your mouth shut about things you don’t understand.”

  But he did understand. Didn’t he? Levi had always been a touchy subject. “I told you he was trouble.”

  “Of course you did. Look, you were always right about everything and I was always wrong. We have to be here for a couple of days and then you don’t have to see me ever again. I promise. I’ll go my way and you’ll go yours and I’ll respect your wishes and stay far, far away from anywhere you might be.”

  He hated the fact that she wouldn’t look at him. “I didn’t say I was always right.”

  “You don’t have to. It’s implied in pretty much everything you do.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?”

  She shook her head. “Sorry, we weren’t supposed to talk about ancient history.”

  He was about to reply that he really wanted to know what she meant, but a frown crossed her face. “What is it?”

  “It’s a message from him. He didn’t even use a burner. He wanted his name to come up.”

  “Play it.” He wanted to hear it. He needed to hear that fucker’s voice. His gut twisted because he’d accused her of the same thing, though he’d put an awful spin on it.

  She touched a button and a beep came over the line.

  “Hello, Solo.” Levi’s voice sounded smooth over the computer’s speakers. “I’m going to assume it was Ezra who saved you today. It won’t work. I’ll find you and then I’ll deal with him. If you want him to live, you’ll turn yourself in. Make no mistake, I’m in charge now. I have control of your case, and when I bring you in I’ll have complete control of you. The fact that you’ll be in my charge is a foregone conclusion. How I bring you in now is up to you. I played nice, Solo. I won’t next time. Next time we meet I’ll show you my other side. The truth is the dark side of me loves you every bit as much as the light side. The dark side simply wants to hurt you more. I look forward to unleashing that part of myself. And tell Beck that he might have saved you briefly, but you’ll be in my bed before the end of the week. Just like you were the first time.”

  Rage rose inside him hard and fast, and before he knew what he was doing, the glass in his hand exploded.

  He heard a gasp and looked up at Kim. There was a drop of blood on her cheek. That speck of red was the only color on her face because her skin had gone a pasty white. She looked down at his hand and stood.

  “I’ll get the first aid kit. Don’t move. You’ll spread the glass around if you move.” Her every word was dull and rote.

  He’d cut her. He hadn’t meant to, but wasn’t that what they did when they were together? They were volcanic, and even when they started with the best of intentions, one of them ended up hurt.

  He looked down at the red wine he’d spilled all over the table and his clothes. It looked like blood.

  How much would he spill before they got out of this situation?

  How much would he give? How much of hers would he take?

  When she came back into the room, he was silent and allowed her to clean up the mess he’d made. He wondered if there was any way they got out of this whole.

  Chapter Four

  There were no windows in this small space, but Ezra knew it was night outside. He didn’t need to look at a clock to know it was late. He stood in the bathroom, his hair still wet from the shower he’d taken, and wondered why he even cared about time. Somehow the realization that it was dark outside and they were alone in the building made his heart thud in his chest.

  She was no more than a few feet away. All he would have to do was open the two doors that separated them and he could be in the same room. She would have changed into the pajamas provided for her and she would look soft and sweet, and her breasts would press against the T-shirt, her nipples outlined by the thin cotton.

  Not that it would matter. Not that she would look at him.

  It had been more than an hour since the light had come on above the door, letting them know the club had closed for the evening and Rene had locked the place up. Nothing was stopping them from going downstairs, picking an apparatus, and testing it out.

  Nothing except the fact that he was a massive ass who couldn’t control his anger. He stared at himself in the mirror and wondered if his brother would even recognize him now. The real Ezra Fain had been better. He would never have dismissed his wife, would have found some way to forgive her. His brother had been the generous one, the one who could find a reason to like everyone he met. Beck had been the hard-ass, stubborn one, the righteous, judgmental one. He’d taken on his brother’s name in an attempt to find some of his brother’s grace, but he was failing at that, too.

  The burner phone that had been in his go-bag buzzed against the small sink where he was supposed to be shaving. The scruff would have to wait. He picked up the cell and answered it. “Yes?”

  He wasn’t giving a name or asking for one. If he didn’t recognize the voice on the other end, he would hang up and destroy the phone.

  “Are you settled in?” Ian Taggart’s voice came over the line.

  He’d thought it would be Damon. “Yes. I’m surprised to hear from you. I thought you would be on a plane. Rene told me you would be here in the morning.”

  “I am on a plane. I borrowed it from Mia. I’ll be there in the morning and I’ll be cranky as fuck because the time difference sucks, but I need to get in and get out as soon as possible. It’s freaking eight p.m. my time. If I get a couple of hours of sleep, I’ll count it a win. At least the girls are sleeping.”

  “You’re bringing the girls? You’re bringing your six-year-old girls to a Parisian BDSM club when the Agency is likely to be all over this place?”

  “I have my reasons. The girls can totally handle it, and I wasn’t about to leave them home to help their mother who is currently taking care of their newest brother. I’d have Seth with me if Mia and Case hadn’t offered to take care of him. The good news is I’m bringing Chelsea, too. If anyone knows how to deal with Agency dickheads, it’s my sister-in-law. Look, I’m coming in on a different project, but it’ll be good cover. I wanted to warn you that Levi’s already looking. Chelsea’s been on the Deep Web.”

  Kim had been on the web all night, barely looking up from the laptop. “If you’re talking about the bounty on her head, we know.”

  The fact that she’d barely registered an emotion on finding out Levi had put her in the crosshairs of all kinds of unethical hunters was a real problem. She’d shut down. Kim was an emotional woman and she’d always needed an outlet.

  He was worried she wouldn’t cry in front of him.

  “Good, then you understand that he’s not playing around this time,” Big Tag replied. “Solo’s in se
rious trouble. Damon sent me a copy of his report. Tell me you understand this is all bullshit and that Levi plays a long, very convincing game. And again, it’s all bullshit.”

  “I know she didn’t betray her country. But we have to prove it.”

  A snort came over the line. “Did you not understand the word convincing? I’m already trying to give her an alibi, but the very nature of her job is working against us. I’ve got about two hours tomorrow, and Chelsea and I will go over all of this with Solo. If we can prove even one of his claims is false, we can likely bring the whole house of cards down.”

  At least someone was working on the problem from the outside. Big Tag still had some Agency contacts. “Good. The faster we clear her name, the faster I get to kill Levi Green.”

  Big Tag sighed. “Yeah, I was worried that was what you would be focused on. How is Solo? Not that I care because I barely know the woman, but Charlie worries about everybody and she’s going to ask.”

  Sure. Only Charlotte wanted to know how Kim was. Big Tag was a notorious busybody. “Solo’s solo. Her name is more than a nickname. It’s a very good description of who she is.”

  But not of who she’d been. It was odd to think about it now. When he’d met her, she’d seemed to fall so easily into his life. She’d been a flower drinking up water and blooming under his affection. She’d been a lonely child, and as an adult she’d desperately wanted to fit in, wanted to build some kind of family since her own had been cold and distant.

  They had not approved of him. And yet it hadn’t mattered to Kim one bit that he hadn’t fit in with her parents’ fancy lifestyle. She was the only ridiculously wealthy person he’d ever met who he believed genuinely could have done without the money. Some of the best times they’d had were simple. A picnic in the park. Staying in and ordering sweet and sour chicken and watching TV.