Back in Bliss Read online

  Back in Bliss

  Nights in Bliss, Colorado Book 9

  Lexi Blake

  writing as

  Sophie Oak

  Back in Bliss

  Nights in Bliss, Colorado Book 9

  Published by DLZ Entertainment LLC

  Copyright 2019 DLZ Entertainment LLC

  Edited by Chloe Vale

  ISBN: 978-1-942297-19-2

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination and are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or establishments is solely coincidental.

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  Table of Contents

  Dedication

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Author’s Note

  Sirens in Bliss

  About Lexi Blake

  Other Books by Lexi Blake

  Dedication

  Logan’s story is a long time in coming and I feel the need to say a few words about how he’s changed and grown over the course of eight books and two different series. I didn’t intend for him to be such a player. He was a throwaway character, meant only for comic relief. And the Russian mob came to town and he became so much more for me. Logan doesn’t have a terrible background. There’s no grand pain in his childhood. In fact, it was almost idyllic. I got to write a character from the moment he learned the world was broken to the moment of his realization that he has the power to heal. For me, Logan has gone from a silly boy to a man who can make the choice to survive and thrive—the same choice many of us make every single day. I thank you all for taking this journey with me and for becoming a part of my own personal heaven—Bliss, Colorado.

  I hope we have many more adventures ahead of us.

  Dedication 2019

  It’s funny how we move through time. I’m sitting here six years after the first time Back in Bliss came out. So much has happened. Great things. Bad things. Triumph. Unimaginable loss. I put Logan through the wringer all those years ago because I thought it would be interesting as a writer. I lied to myself. I put him through the wringer because not one of us gets where we’re going without pain and loss and sacrifice. Because none of us gets there without finding people who stand up and give us strength we didn’t know we had. Because even when we venture far from home, someone is waiting for us, has the light on, and prays for our return. There’s still another book in this series—Sirens in Bliss—but in so many ways this was the last Bliss book I wrote during my years as Sophie Oak so I’m going to sum up a series.

  Thank you to the town of South Fork, Colorado, for serving as ground zero for Bliss. You’re weird and quirky and beautiful.

  Thank you to Kim Guidroz for being there from the first word.

  Thank you to the fans who loved this little town and its odd citizens.

  Thank you to my mom and dad and my whole family.

  Thank you to my daily support system—Liz Berry, Jillian Stein, Kris Cook, Kori Smith, Lila DuBois, and Mari Carr.

  Thank you to Shayla Black who befriended a first-time author and lifted her up.

  Thank you to my husband who only flinches a little when he finds stories about his childhood in these books—Maurice the Moose was real, except he was an elk and my husband would say way, way scarier.

  Thank you so much to my sweet Bella who sat beside me faithfully as I wrote these books. Sometimes the love we need doesn’t come from humans. Sometimes it comes from a gorgeous soul who happens to walk on four feet. I love you and miss you.

  And finally thank you to Margarita Coale, champion of authors. Without you the roads to Bliss would have remained closed, a permanent detour going around my heart. Because of you we will have more adventures.

  Here’s to more stories, to always looking for Bliss.

  Prologue

  Bliss, Colorado

  Fifteen years before

  Seth

  “Please don’t tell his moms.” Seth had to talk for Logan because his teeth hadn’t stopped chattering yet. And his lips were the slightest bit blue.

  Seth took a seat at the bar, the smells from the kitchen making his stomach growl. He always ate more here even though he lived on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. His mother liked to tell him that the world revolved around Manhattan, but he never got mac and cheese there. Ellen Glen-Bennett always made mac and cheese.

  And chocolate chip cookies. Gosh, he liked cookies even though his parents thought carbs were the devil. He lived for the three months of the year he got to spend in Bliss.

  Ellen frowned his way as she placed a steaming mug of hot chocolate in front of Logan. “I do not understand boys. I swear. What on earth got into your head, Logan? The river is still very cold even during the summer. Did you fall in? Were you boys horsing around?”

  He and Logan looked at each other. No horsing around. Just Truth or Dare. Jamie had bet Logan that he couldn’t last two minutes in the cold waters of the Rio Grande, and Logan had decided to jump into the river rather than tell Jamie how often he masturbated.

  Seth would have told him. He would have done a lot to avoid those chilly waters. He wouldn’t have told the total truth, of course, but some approximation of it. But not Logan.

  Ellen shook her head as though she knew she wouldn’t get an answer out of them. “I’m going to get another blanket and throw his clothes in the dryer.”

  Ellen strode out of the kitchen toward the laundry room.

  Logan trembled in the seat beside him, his head swinging toward Seth, teeth chattering as he spoke. “Don’t tell Ellen about the dirt bike. We can fix it up.”

  It had been a summer of what his mother would likely call “very bad choices” and what Seth labeled as the best of his life. The week before, Jamie had taken their friend Max up on the bet that he couldn’t drive his brand-new dirt bike up the mountain. He’d gotten it up, but he’d come back down really fucking fast. Like way faster than the bike. The bike had kind of smashed into Jamie’s head.

  It had been cool and funny, and Logan was right. Ellen would be pissed. She might not let them stay out at the man cave again. He loved the man cave. Sure, it smelled bad, but even that was kind of cool.

  “How did you do it, man? That water was so cold.” Logan had stood there and took it like a man while Jamie had counted down the seconds and Noah held a lasso ready to catch Logan in case the current swept him away.

  Maybe they hadn’t thought through that plan as thoroughly as they should have.

  “The key is to survive ten seconds, man. You can survive anything for ten seconds. And then you go for another ten seconds and another and before you know it, you’re done. I
use it when my moms are lecturing me on getting my school work done, too.” His voice was almost back to normal, but his hands were still shaking.

  A heavenly aroma hit Seth’s nose as Ellen returned with another blanket. She opened the oven and took out the cookies after tossing the blanket around Logan’s shoulders. Noah and Jamie joined them, looking at their stepmom with worshipful eyes.

  Ellen frowned as she opened a jug of milk and poured four glasses out. “So now that we know Logan is going to survive, would anyone like to explain why Jamie looks like he went through a meat grinder?”

  She was so calm. If Seth had walked in like that, his mother would have had a conniption fit, not because she loved him and was worried about him, but because she would have been deeply concerned about what the neighbors would say.

  Jamie shrugged. “I fell. It’s cool.”

  He’d fallen down a mountain and they’d spent days trying to heal him.

  Ellen sighed. “All right, but next time call me. I’ve got to start dinner.”

  She turned away and disappeared into the pantry. The tension deflated and everything was normal again because everything was always normal in Bliss.

  He felt normal in Bliss.

  “Way to deflect the mom unit, man.” Noah held up his hand for a high-five.

  Jamie slapped his palm against his brother’s. “That’s the way we do it, brother. I learned from our dads. That’s how you handle a mom. It’s how we’ll handle Callie one day.”

  Noah’s eyes rolled. “We’re not marrying Callie. She’s like our sister.”

  “She’s the most devious thing ever. We should totally marry her,” Jamie said.

  Callie had been the one to come up with the plan to fix Jamie up. Sure, he was going to scar, but he was alive. Seth had to admit, Callie was pretty cute, but she had a thing for Max and Rye.

  Noah gagged. “Not happening.”

  Jamie sighed. “But I like Callie.”

  Seth looked over at Logan. “Who are we going to marry?”

  It was said with the trepidation of a boy who wasn’t sure of his place. He’d always been at the top of his class, but that wasn’t where he’d wanted to be. He wanted to be here. With his best friend and his family.

  Logan shot him a grin even as he pulled the blankets tighter. “Do you really think we can find someone to marry us? I don’t know. It’s a tall order.”

  But it was everything he wanted. A family with his best friend. In his town.

  “Damn, man. I think any woman would want to marry you after she finds out how long you can stand in the river,” Jamie said with an admiring glance Logan’s way. “We’re going to call you River Man from now on.”

  “No, Captain Freeze because his balls didn’t drop off,” Noah offered and then frowned. “Tell me your balls didn’t drop off, man.”

  And then they were all joking and laughing and downing chocolate chip cookies.

  He only had twenty-two days until he had to go back to New York, and then a whole year would pass until he could come home again. He would count every single day off, marking it on a calendar. But one day…

  “Yeah, we’ll find someone.” Seth was sure. It was his destiny. His and Logan’s.

  * * * *

  Del Norte, CO

  Two years before

  Logan

  “Sweetheart, you need to eat something.”

  Logan Green forced himself to look up at his mother. “I’m not hungry.”

  He didn’t like to open his eyes. When he opened his eyes he was reminded that he was in a hospital. The world seemed too white and sanitary, a foreign place where he didn’t belong.

  Of course when he closed his eyes he was back on the desk.

  His stomach turned and he wondered when the nurse would be back with his pain meds. He’d been lying in this hospital for two days and the only time he felt comfortable was the magical moment when the meds kicked in and he suddenly didn’t care what had happened to him, could barely remember it.

  The trouble was the meds always faded and then he would see that face looming over him. He would know that whatever came next would break him.

  Had broken him.

  God, he was so fucking broken.

  “Logan, you have to eat.” His mother looked older today. She always looked fragile, but that was a lie. Teeny Green was small in stature, but she had a mighty heart.

  How ashamed would she be if she knew the truth about what had happened to him?

  He forced himself to sit up, biting back a groan as pain washed over him. It didn’t matter if he was still or in motion, the pain seemed to always be with him now. “I don’t want to eat, Ma.”

  He saw her eyes flare with hurt but he couldn’t find the will to apologize. He knew he should. This was his mother and she’d sacrificed for him. He could see it, see the love she had for him, but since that moment when he’d been tied down and shown the way of the world, there wasn’t room for anything in his heart but anger.

  His mother started to say something, but he was spared by a knock on the door. Caleb Burke strode in wearing the white coat he always had on when he was either in his clinic in Bliss or here in the hospital where he had admitting privileges. Caleb was a taciturn man, not at all known for his bedside manner, but he managed to smile at Teeny Green.

  Because his mother was a light in the world. The only problem was Logan had so recently been introduced to the darkness.

  “Good morning, Teeny. How are you this morning?” Caleb asked, clipboard in hand.

  His mother turned to the doctor, a fine sheen of tears in her eyes. “He won’t eat, Doc. How can he heal if he won’t eat? He’s always had such a good appetite but now he won’t even try.”

  He didn’t fucking want to try. He didn’t care enough to try. He ached with every breath, and he wasn’t sure that would go away no matter which parts of him healed.

  Why hadn’t he died on that desk? Why had Stef chosen that moment to slip inside and save the day? If he’d been a few minutes later…

  “Hey, he’s fine, Teeny.” Caleb’s voice had gone about as soft as Logan had ever heard it go. “This is normal. His body has gone through a lot. There’s a long road ahead, but he’s stable. He’s getting everything he needs through the IV for now. In a couple of days his appetite will be back.”

  “I thought he could come home later today.” His mother looked at him and then back to the doctor. “Marie is making sure his room is ready right now.”

  God, he couldn’t even think about going home. How could he ever walk back into his room and pretend like life was normal?

  Caleb shook his head. “I’m sorry the nurses told you that. I need to keep him here for at least another two days. It’s nothing serious, but I want to watch a couple of his incisions and since Bliss is so far from an actual hospital, it’s best he recovers here.”

  “The doc’s right. I’m not feeling up to moving right now.” If he could put it off for a few days, he would do it. The idea of going back into his room, of seeing his house again, made panic well up inside him. He’d grown up in that little cabin. He’d lived there for as long as he could remember. That cabin was love and safety and comfort.

  That cabin was a lie.

  “You go and call Marie,” Caleb urged. “Let her know you still have a couple of days. He’ll be on his feet in no time at all, and you are the one who needs to eat. Stella tells me you won’t leave this hospital. You need to rest. It’s very important for you to take care of yourself, too.”

  “But he’s my boy,” his mother said.

  “And he’s going to be fine.” Caleb gave her a nod and gestured toward the door. “Stella’s outside. She wants to take you out to lunch. You need a break. He’s fine here.”

  “I am.” He loved his mother but she’d been hovering and it rankled. He wanted a few fucking minutes to himself. “I’m good, Ma. Like Doc says, I just need a couple more days.”

  She crossed the space between them and leaned over to kiss
his head. “All right. I’ll go and have lunch with Stella. But I’ll be back.”

  He watched as she walked out of the room.

  He didn’t really want to talk to Caleb either, but the good news was the doctor was gruff and they could get through this conversation pretty damn quick. Then he could be alone for a while. Then he could wait for those meds.

  “So I’ve got problems with my incisions? They feel pretty good, but I want to stay here until I’m totally healed.” He wanted to stay where he didn’t have to talk, didn’t have to think about going back into a life he didn’t trust anymore.

  “No, you’re healing perfectly but I know you’re not ready to even consider going home.” Caleb laid the clipboard down. “I know because I wasn’t ready. Logan, I’m not going to tell you everything because I’ll be honest, it’s been years and I’m still not ready. I’ve been where you are. I was…let’s just say I went through some bad shit and it lasted for months. I watched people die. I was pretty damn sure I would be next.”

  He could feel the bile at the back of his throat and forced himself to shake his head. “Nah, I knew someone would save me.”

  Caleb nodded as though he’d pretty much expected that would be his reply. “Well, I didn’t. I was kept in a cage and I would be taken out and beaten and shoved back in the cage. I lived that way and I remember just wanting it to be over. I still felt that way even after I was rescued and I got home. Sometimes I feel that way today. You need some time and you need to give yourself permission to take it. I didn’t want to be around my family afterward. But I came here and I’m finding some friends. All I’m saying is you should think about talking to someone, but probably not your mom.”

  “I don’t need to talk about it.”

  “Logan, I know what really happened and I won’t ever tell.”