Lost in You Read online

  She tilted her head up to him. “And if I want to go to bed but not to sleep?”

  His heart rate ticked up, blood starting to thrum through his system as he invaded further, brushing his chest against hers. He reached for her wrists and gently brought them up and over her head, pinning her to the wall. “Then we need to make a few things clear.”

  She took a deep breath, her lips curling up as though she liked the way he smelled. “Me sub, you Dom. Got it.”

  He leaned over. “Hey, I’m trying to make sure I take care of you the way you like to be taken care of. I’ve watched you play. I don’t think your play partners realized how much you like being dominated. I think they view you as a woman who enjoys a spanking from time to time. They don’t get how much you need to know your partner is thinking about how to handle you. They don’t understand that you need to stop thinking. You need a place where you obey your partner.”

  “In their defense, I had no interest in sex with any of them. I was looking for a spanking, some physical play that wouldn’t lead to real intimacy. You watched me?”

  “I always watch you,” he admitted. “It’s why my brothers insist I’m your stalker. I watch you because I can’t not watch you when you’re in a room. If I thought for a second that it made you uncomfortable, I would make myself stop, but I think you like it.”

  She watched him, too, and not in a way that made him think she was wary of him. It had always been there between them—the crackle and fire of sexual chemistry.

  “You’re going to be a talky one, aren’t you?” she asked.

  And she was going to be a brat. “You’re the one who usually makes everyone else do the talking. Yes, I want you to talk to me. I want you to tell me how you’re feeling and if the things I’m going to do to your body work for you. I need you to understand that nothing is more important to me for the rest of the night than ensuring that you’re well taken care of. So let’s set some ground rules. Unless you want me to play this vanilla. I can do that. I can gently take you inside and lay you out on the bed and then I’ll make love to you.”

  Her eyes flared. “Or you could bend me to your will and fuck me so hard I can’t think of anything or anyone but you.”

  He liked how she thought. “Then stop being a brat. And yes, I’m a talkie top. I’ll make you talk to me while we’re playing. This is my therapy session, Dr. Adisa. You’re not in charge. Say that. Tell me who’s in charge.”

  “You are, Robert.” Her tone had softened along with her eyes.

  “And who obeys me?”

  “I do. I obey you when we’re playing.”

  “Tell me your safe word.” He had no intention of her using it, but they needed it there between them.

  “I’ve always used red, but I’m not going to use it with you.”

  “But you have it if you need it. We’re going to walk into that room and you’re going to strip for me. You’re going to present yourself to me. Am I understood?”

  Her pupils had dilated and her body seemed more languid than it had before. Him taking control was doing exactly what he’d thought it would.

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “Then kiss me sweetly and do what I commanded.”

  She popped up on her toes and brushed her lips against his. Heat flashed through him and he had the overwhelming need to press her against the wall and find a place between her legs. He could shove his cock inside her and not stop until they both came.

  Or he could make this last for a long time. He could spend hours and hours playing with her because making love to Ariel wouldn’t merely be about an orgasm. It would be about exploring the intense emotion that had grown between them.

  He released her wrists and she bit her bottom lip as she relaxed back down off her toes. She looked up at him briefly before sliding away and reaching for the door.

  “I’ll be right in. Don’t start without…” He was about to walk the few steps to the door of the room he’d been assigned, but it came open and an arm poked through holding the small leather bag that served as Robert’s kit. “Is there any privacy at all in this place?”

  He heard Ariel giggle.

  Tucker merely shook the bag. “Not when you’re out in the hallway. Go do your dirty stuff in a proper bedroom if you don’t want me listening in. Also, you know what Big Tag would say.”

  He grabbed the bag from Tucker. He loved the guy, but Tucker also knew how to act like the most obnoxious little brother the world had ever seen. Tucker was harshing his top space.

  “We’ll use a condom,” Ariel promised, looking far less serious than she usually did. The weight of the world always seemed to be on her shoulders, and now she seemed more relaxed.

  This was the Ariel he saw on the dungeon floor. He wanted her to be able to find this lightness in other parts of her life. She could if she trusted him enough.

  “Good night, Tucker.” He turned and followed Ariel inside her room, locking the door behind him. He set the kit down and stared at her. “I’m waiting.”

  She held his gaze as she kicked off the shoes she’d been wearing and began to unbutton her blouse, revealing inch after inch of gorgeous skin. She took her time, and this wasn’t some shy offering of a woman who hoped her partner accepted her. This woman knew the value of the gift she offered.

  “God, you’re beautiful.” It went beyond the word. Or rather the word went beyond the physical. Ariel was beautiful inside and out, and she’d proven she was a puzzle, complex and fascinating.

  She shrugged out of the blouse and draped it over the chair to her left. The room was small, but there was more than enough space for what he intended to do. She eased her slacks off and stood in front of him wearing nothing but a sunny yellow bra and matching panties.

  “You know, if I’d had my way we would be in a suite with a view of the whole city. I’d open the curtains and watch the moonlight pour over your skin.”

  Her eyes lit for a second with mischief, but then she seemed to change her mind. “I’m sorry, Sir. I know you planned everything out carefully.”

  Such a good sub. He kind of wanted the brat. “Tell me what went through your mind just then.”

  She wrinkled her nose, a sweet expression on her face. “You would watch the moonlight pour over my skin and German intelligence would help us make a porno.”

  He growled a bit, but it was all in fun. “I would have made certain there were no cameras, and you’re a well-trained sub to have kept that to yourself. Are you not going to give me a reason to spank you?”

  She shrugged and reached for the back of her bra. “I’m sure we can play those games at some point. I would like very much to explore with you. It’s been a few years since I actually had a D/s relationship that was anything beyond play in a club.”

  His eyes caught on her breasts and he didn’t even pretend he wasn’t staring. He didn’t have to be polite here. Here he could indulge in her. “You’ve had a long-term top before?”

  “The boyfriend who introduced me to the lifestyle. We worked together for a few years before I joined McKay-Taggart and Knight.” The bra joined her other clothes. “Robert, are you sure? We work together. I don’t want to jeopardize your position.”

  She asked him that now? He would have been sure before, but there wasn’t a damn hesitation in his head now that he could see how tight her nipples were. “I don’t have a position. I don’t really work for them. If you think about it, they’re working for me. Take off your panties. I’m absolutely sure I want you, and it won’t be for one night. I’m not trying to fuck you out of my system. I don’t want you out of my system.” Of course there was another reason she could have asked the question. “Are you unsure?”

  He would slow down. He didn’t want to stop. He would take all the time she needed to get comfortable.

  She stepped close, her head tilting up and eyes wide as she looked at him. “Rob, I’m sure. I know in the beginning I was worried you weren’t capable of having a relationship.”

  He r
emembered those conversations quite well. He still cringed inside at the thought of them. “You were worried I was some lost duckling and I imprinted on you.”

  Her head shook slightly. “I didn’t put it like that, but time has passed and I’ve watched you grow. You didn’t move on to a willing woman, and there were many of them.”

  “I only wanted you. After I met you, you were the only woman I could see.” He needed to put all his cards on the table. “I’ve had sex since I was rescued. I met a woman at Sanctum. A couple of them, actually, but it was never serious and it was more about comfort than anything else. This is different. Since I started living at The Garden there hasn’t been anyone else because what I need now can’t be filled by any willing woman. What I need can only come from you.”

  “And I can’t hide behind professionalism any more. I felt the connection between us the moment we met. I wanted you to be sure because we’re taking a chance here. I wouldn’t take it with anyone but you.”

  Sweet words, but he wanted more. “Then take off those pretty panties and present yourself to me. We’ll work out a contract if you want, but not tonight. Tonight, I want you to do what I asked.”

  She didn’t move back, merely let her hands find the waistband of her undies and shoved them off. With her foot, she kicked them out of the way and never once looked down. Her eyes were on him as though watching for his every expression.

  She was the sexiest woman he’d ever seen, and somehow he knew deep in his bones that counted his whole life, even the parts he couldn’t remember. Ariel Adisa was a goddess, and he intended to worship her tonight.

  “How do you want me to present myself, Sir? We don’t have any protocols established.”

  “Turn around for me. Let me see you.”

  She stepped back and turned slowly.

  “Stop.” Her ass was stunning. He’d seen her in fet wear before, but never naked and willing to do his bidding.

  He couldn’t help but move in and put a hand on her. A deep breath filled her lungs and she seemed to relax at his touch. He was anything but relaxed. His whole body felt on edge. His cock was hard and ready, but he wasn’t through exploring her yet.

  He leaned in and caught her scent. Lavender. That’s what her skin smelled like. He ran his nose from right behind her ear to the crook of her neck. A sweet shudder went through her, and she leaned back against him. “Tell me what you like about the lifestyle. I think I know, but I want to hear it from you.”

  “I’m always in control, always thinking about others. This is the only time I allow myself to let go and think about nothing more than the next moment. The next breath. The next touch. I struggled with sexual pleasure until I found a lover who was also a Dom.”

  “The one you worked with?” He moved back. Robert clenched his teeth, glad she couldn’t see him. He grabbed her hips, holding her still. He didn’t want to talk. Not now. But he was afraid if he didn’t, he would lose control. God, the beast that seemed to simmer under his surface was pressing hard against the cage.

  “Sir?” Gentle fingers covered his where he gripped her hips. “Rob?”

  She was using that soft voice that let him know she was going into shrink mode. It was the worried sound of a mother hen. He was fucking this up. Panic and disappointment and lust—raw, hot lust—were vying for control of him.

  Her hands stroked the back of his fingers. “What’s wrong, love? I shouldn’t have mentioned the past. Why don’t we sit and talk a bit?”

  If he let her she would put him in the patient zone. She would shove him back in the comfortable place where she didn’t have to acknowledge that he was a man who could make her feel something beyond sympathy. They would be right back where they’d been before.

  Instinct took over. He’d learned to trust his instincts—whoever he’d been before had known how to clean and disassemble a gun, how to block a punch.

  For the first time he let instinct take over when it came to sex. When it came to pleasing a woman. When it came to her.

  He used his grip on her hips to spin her around to face him. The movement had been sudden, shocking, and she wasn’t steady on her feet. Good. He didn’t want her steady. He wasn’t steady. She looked up at him, her eyes wide with surprise and…arousal. That was good. He wanted her aroused, but he wasn’t stopping there. He wrapped one arm around her torso, trapping her arms at her sides. The other went around her shoulders, jerking her naked, vulnerable body against his fully clothed one.

  Holding her tight, he bent his face to hers and claimed her mouth.

  He’d kissed women before. He’d kissed her before. This was something else.

  This was possession.

  He had her right where he wanted her—he held her hard against him, her neck bent, base of her skull resting on the forearm of the arm he’d wrapped around her shoulders. Her mouth was soft and yielding under his. When he swept his tongue over the seam of her lips, she flowered open, giving him access to her mouth.

  A growl of satisfaction rumbled through him, even as he claimed what she’d offered, tongue delving into her mouth, tasting her. Her tongue stroked against his. Tentative at first, and then with a bit of aggression. The kiss became a dance, a duel. He pulled back just enough for them to breathe and then claimed her mouth once again, sucking her tongue, showing her what he wanted, then thrusting his tongue into her mouth.

  She did what he wanted, what he needed, and sucked on him. His cock jerked in his pants. It was a pale imitation of what he truly wanted, but now he knew what it would be like when he pressed his cock into her mouth.

  Robert’s arms tightened around her, and she made a small noise of discomfort.

  That sound was enough to break through. He released her and forced himself to step back. They were both panting. He’d planned tonight, knew what he wanted to say to her, how he’d touch her. How he’d take it slow and learn her.

  That kiss hadn’t been in any of his plans.

  Ariel was the picture of desire, lust obviously taking her over. He’d done that to her. She dragged air into her lungs, making her breasts with their tight nipples bounce slightly. He forced himself to look away from all that lovely, naked skin.

  He knew he should say something. He’d promised her he would take it slow and they would find their intimacy. For her that meant talking, sharing their feelings with each other. He always had something to say. But right now there were no words, because despite the fact that he’d screwed up, that he’d kissed her and held her so tight he’d hurt her, he didn’t know what to say. The months of tension between them, the slow burn of their sexual chemistry, had come to a head in that kiss.

  Ariel inhaled, held the breath. A little shiver worked down her body, and he realized he was staring at her naked breasts again. He jerked his gaze to the ceiling.

  She took a step forward, hands coming up.

  Then she shoved him, hard.

  It wasn’t a move he’d anticipated, though he should have given what a caveman he’d been. He stumbled back a few steps, his back thudding against the wall.

  His heart clenched. He’d hurt her, badly enough that she was fighting him, literally pushing him away. He opened his mouth, but there weren’t words enough to express how sorry he was for how he’d treated her.

  She looked him up and down, then took two running steps…

  …and jumped on him.

  He managed to catch her and then she was kissing him. She’d wrapped her arms around him, one hand tangling in his hair. With his back to the wall she couldn’t get her legs around his waist, but she gripped his hips with her knees. He felt her start to slide and reached down, grabbing her ass, that glorious ass, with both hands. He squeezed, and she made a little sound, then bit his lip.

  She didn’t hate him. He hadn’t scared her. She’d liked the kiss. Even better, she wanted more.

  He would give her more.

  He pushed away from the wall, carrying her. The bed was his destination, but with most of his blood in his dick
and no way to see, he missed the bed, managing instead to trip on something. He felt himself start to fall and shifted their weight, managing to go down on one knee and then twisting hard. He landed on his back with a thump, Ariel on top of him.

  Ariel sat up, straddling him. “Robert, are you hurt?”

  He tried to speak but all that came out was a groan.

  Her lips parted, eyes rounding. “You’re hurt. I’ll—”

  He grabbed her hips, swallowed, and managed to speak. “Your pussy is right on my dick.”

  It was why he’d only been able to groan.

  They both looked down. Ariel was astride his hips, her pussy hovering only an inch above the tented crotch of his slacks. He could feel the heat coming off her. He could see the way her pussy glistened—she was wet. Ready.

  The scent of her arousal was a heady perfume. He wanted to taste her. Needed to fuck her.

  Ariel looked at him from beneath her lashes. “I was aggressive. This started out as a D/s scene.”

  “And I’m the one who kissed you like some manner-less caveman. I ruined it. And you being aggressive is…” He frowned. Hadn’t he spent months and months learning this woman, watching her and figuring out what she needed? She needed someone she trusted to take control. “It’s not what you want. You need a Dom, you need D/s. I’m not—”

  “I don’t know what this is.” Ariel laid her hands softly on his chest. “But I don’t want to stop. Do you?”

  “No.” That was the biggest understatement of his life. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “You won’t. I trust you.”

  Would she if she knew what he dreamed of at night? It was one of the things he’d kept from her, holding on to that nasty vision that came to him like it was gold he hoarded. “You shouldn’t.”

  “I do, Robert. I do trust you.”

  “What I want right now isn’t to be your Dom.” He was trying to ignore how much he liked the view from here. Lying on his back, looking up at Ariel’s lovely tits, was something he could get used to. “I want to take you. I want to fuck you. I want to…” He didn’t know a way to describe what he wanted that didn’t sound like he was an aggressive, violent asshole.