Sanctum Read online

  “So a Dom doesn’t understand a sub?”

  She shrugged. “He can if he cares, otherwise, he’ll just use her and toss her aside. I can make those subs feel happy and supported. I can make the team cohesive, and I can run that bar like no one else. But you’re going to do what you want, and we both know that you’re not going to want me. Thank you for your time, Sir.”

  She turned and started to walk out. Yeah, that “Sir” had been a little bitter. She’d kind of hoped she was over this. She’d stopped thinking about him every minute of the day, stopped dreaming about him every night.

  Just as she got her fingers on the doorknob, she felt a hand on her arm and she was turned into Ryan’s big body. Wow. He’d been working out. A lot. His chest looked different in the T-shirt than when it had been hidden behind designer shirts and suit coats.

  “Why do you want to work here? Did you find out I was here? Did you come back here for me?”

  Yeah, he would think that. God, she’d been pathetic, giving him everything she had and never asking for anything. She’d been so stupid in love with him that she’d nearly given up her identity. “I had no idea you were here. Do you want to know why I’m looking for another job, Ryan? Because I’m working at a strip club right now. It’s the only job I could find when I got here, and I needed the money. The ‘gentleman’s club’ I work at is shockingly light on gentlemen.”

  “What?” The question came from between clenched teeth. “Strip club?”

  Wow. He still got that tic over his left eye. When he got really upset, a vein over his left eye started to spasm, and she knew she had to soothe him. Her hand moved as though she had a muscle memory of how to fix the problem. She used to run her hands over his face and kiss him from his forehead to his chin, and slowly he would calm down.

  “Jillian.” He breathed her name. He was so close. So close. Her whole body responded to him, her nipples hardening and her pussy beginning to soften, ready to welcome him home.

  She remembered how he’d looked at her and calmly explained that she would go with his friend. He’d uncollared her and handed her over to another man.

  Tears in her eyes, she stepped back. “I need to get to work. Good-bye, Ryan. Best of luck with the rest of the interviews.”

  She managed to get the door open this time.

  “You’re hired.”

  She didn’t turn around, couldn’t look at him again. Damn it. She should walk. This was a bad idea. She couldn’t work for him. Fuck all, she was still half in love with the man and she knew she hated him too. Walk out. Show him you don’t need him.

  Except she did. All of her sister’s medical bills were piling up, forming a little tower on her bar that she might never be able to climb. Ashley wasn’t ready to move out on her own. She had to take care of her baby, and they were both counting on Jill to feed them all. Damn. Damn. Damn. “When do I start?”

  “Tonight. Do you have to give notice at that place?”

  She turned to face him. She would have to do it a lot if he was her boss. God, he was her boss. How the hell was she going to manage that? “No. They don’t expect much there.”

  His jaw tightened and that tic started up again. Did his current sub know how anxious he could get? Did she calm him and offer him peace? Did she sit in his lap and kiss him and hold him? Did she give him his favorite Scotch and rest her head on his chest while he relaxed?

  He nodded. “Good. Fet wear only at night. I ordered for this week, but you’ll have to do an inventory before next week. We do parties on occasion, and we have one coming up for a VIPs birthday. I’ll fill you in later.”

  Ryan sighed heavily and ran his hand across his face, his thumb massaging his left eye. He sat back down behind his small desk and she couldn’t help but wonder again how he was here. What had happened? Why did she still want to go and sit in his lap and comfort him?

  “All right. I’ve worked plenty of parties.” She stood in the doorway feeling more awkward than she’d ever felt. She needed to walk. But she stood there. “Thank you, Sir.”

  The saddest look crossed his face. Pain and weariness and regret were all painted right there. “I’ll see you tonight. Don’t go back to that club, Jillian. If you need something from there, I’ll send someone over. All right?”

  The fact that he framed it as a question slammed into her. Somehow, someway, he’d remained her Master in the back of her head, but he wasn’t. He was just her boss. If she had half a brain she would walk away, but she couldn’t. “All right. I was going to clean out my locker.”

  “Joe can do it. Consider it a part of your compensation package. You’ll also have an escort to and from your car every night.” He flipped open his laptop. “That is not negotiable. It will be in your contract. Taggart insists on it for all female employees.”

  Taggart. As in the owner. Not him. “All right. I’ll be back at six thirty.”

  “Five. Staff meeting is at five and it’s catered. Don’t worry. Taggart takes care of that too. No sandwiches. It’s pure five star around here.”

  Her stomach nearly groaned in joy. She and Ashley had agreed that paying the bills and making sure Emily had formula was more important than their bellies. She’d been living off ramen and mac and cheese for months. “Thank you.”

  He nodded and looked to his laptop, obviously dismissing her.

  She turned and walked out, totally sure she’d just made a mistake and completely unwilling to take it back.

  Chapter Two

  Jill looked up from her paperwork to stare out at the dungeon. From her little bar home, she could see the stage area of the dungeon, a slightly elevated space where the club ran major scenes. It was dominated by three St. Andrew’s Crosses mounted to the back wall and normally held any number of nasty apparatuses, from sawhorses to spanking benches. But today, all of that had been shelved in favor of folding chairs and a PowerPoint presentation. It was the start of Dom Kindergarten, as she liked to call it.

  “Adam? Do you need some coffee? Because you’re snoring.” Ryan was not amused.

  She couldn’t help the grin that slid over her mouth. Ryan actually looked totally hot when he was not amused. Three weeks into her new job and she was already obsessed with the boss. He was standing there in his leathers and a white T-shirt that he would take off in a few hours in favor of a leather vest, and all she could do was count the hours until she could see his chest again.

  “Damn, that man is hot.” Joe set a case of vodka on the bar. “Too bad he’s celibate. I thought he might play for my team for a while, but I’ve tried everything on him. If he’s not attracted to me, he couldn’t possibly be gay.”

  Jill rolled her eyes. Joe was sure every hot guy who walked in was gay. “I can assure you, Ryan is not gay.”

  Joe’s dark eyes flared. It really was an affront to women everywhere that he only liked other men. He was a hottie of the first order, as her little sis would say. “Then the rumors are true. You two have a history.”

  Shit. How had that gotten out? She hadn’t talked to anyone. “I knew him a little from before.” She was a horrible liar. The words started to roll out of her mouth like a snowball picking up steam and crap along the way down a mountainside. “I mean, I saw him a couple of times. You know. From afar. Uhm, we used to work in the same building, and I would get coffee and he would be at the florist getting flowers and stuff…”

  Joe snorted a little, incredulity plain on his face. “That man hung out at a florist?”

  “They were very masculine flowers.” She bit into her bottom lip, hoping he would let it drop.

  “So you were sleeping with him,” Joe concluded.

  “Fine. We had a relationship once. We don’t now. End of story.”

  “Really? Because I don’t know if that story is over. When you’re not looking, he does that ‘longing stare’ thing. Oh, it’s all properly dominant, but he looks at you like you’re a juicy steak and he’s been on a vegan diet for a month.” Joe sighed. “I did that once fo
r a boyfriend. Tofu. The things we do for a little sex.”

  She’d done way more for a little sex. A lot of sex. Loads of filthy, gorgeous, amazing sex. She’d had two lovers before Ryan, but nothing compared to him. She hadn’t really understood what making love meant before she’d found her way into his bed.

  Sex. They’d had sex. She’d given up her identity for a little sex.

  “What do you know about him?” She shouldn’t ask the question, but the temptation was just too great.

  Joe leaned against the bar, his eyes narrowing as though he was trying to figure out just how much to tell her. She couldn’t blame him. She was new, and the club was a little family. They protected their own. “I know he seems to be a good guy. He’s been fair with all of us. He’s a good Dom, but he doesn’t have one sub in particular he likes more than the rest. I don’t know. The guy’s a bit of an enigma if you ask me. He holds himself apart.”

  He always had. The whole time they had been together, he’d always been the boss. She would talk to his employees and they were always intimidated by him. Even when they used to go to staff parties, there was a piece of Ryan that had been untouchable, as though he’d warded and placed walls around himself. He would be pleasant, charming even, but the essential Ryan Church had been saved for when the doors closed and they had been alone. Then Ryan had been true.

  Or not. God, she couldn’t even blame him. Not really. He’d never said he loved her. He’d told her how beautiful she was, how much he wanted her. He’d never lied. He’d never told her it was forever. That was the lie she’d told herself.

  “Do you know anything about what he did before he came here?”

  Joe’s well-manicured brow rose over perfect brown eyes. “Isn’t that something you should know? You were the one who slept with him.”

  “He was the CEO of a company that produced software. He was working on something that was going to change the way people shopped on the Internet. I’ve been looking for it. It should have been ready to go by now. He was close.”

  Joe shrugged. “I don’t know much about business, but I know this is his only job now, so something must have gone wrong. What happened between the two of you?”

  “It wasn’t a grand love affair. We met at a play party. I was a sub. He was a Dom. We signed a contract and after a year, he wanted out. No harm. No foul.” Except that he’d tried to give her away to his friend. She might have been able to handle things if he hadn’t attempted to pawn her off like she was a used book he could trade in.

  “I don’t know about that,” Joe said with a shake of his head. “I can still feel the tension between you two. He shuts down when you walk in a room, and you suddenly seem interested in looking anywhere he isn’t.”

  “There’s nothing between us.”

  “You want to put a little bet on that? I happen to know how Dom Kindergarten goes. I’ve watched it the last three times Ryan has taught the class. In about ten minutes, we’ll get to the Spanking 101 segment of the day, and I know at least one of those Doms doesn’t have a partner. I have a plan. I just need to talk to Adam when they have a break. Are you in?”

  It was a bad idea. She didn’t need to push Ryan. She just needed to stay out of his way. So why did she lean over and nod? Why did she listen to Joe’s plan?

  “Yeah, I’m in.” She was in on the plan and completely out of her mind.

  * * * *

  Adam Miles was a never-ending pain in Ryan’s ass. He was supposedly some computer guru and communications expert with a former black ops background. The rumor was he’d gotten forced out of the Army because he’d run afoul of his CO. Ryan rather thought Adam’s former CO got sick of his sarcasm. Unfortunately, Ryan had to put up with him because he was Ian Taggart’s employee and one of the founders of this club. Though Sanctum had originally been started by Ian Taggart and Alex McKay, it was universally acknowledged that Jake Dean, Adam Miles, Eve St. James, and Sean Taggart had rights to the club no one else had.

  The one right Miles didn’t have was Master’s Rights because he was too lazy and had never taken the class. Now Ryan got to deal with him twice a week for two months, three hours each session. Lucky fucking him.

  Adam was the most experienced of all the students, and he was also the only one without a sub at his feet. The other five Doms all had subs—three women and two men. He oddly felt more comfortable dealing with the gay couples. They didn’t remind him of everything he’d lost.

  It hadn’t gone unnoticed that she was standing not twenty feet away, talking to Joe and doing her careful inventory. He was surprised at just how competent she was. She’d never shown any interest in work at all when they had been together. It was a different side of her. It made him wonder just how many sides he’d missed because he’d been captured so thoroughly by the submissive side.

  But he had a class to teach.

  “Does anyone have questions about contracts?” Ryan asked.

  “Yes, why are they so freaking boring?” Adam asked. “I get it. Make sure your sweetheart signs on the bottom line before you plug her ass. Did Ian make this class exceptionally boring to punish me? Because it’s working.”

  “The door is right back there, Mr. Miles. Feel free to use it.”

  Miles sat up, a frown on his face. “I can’t. Come on, Ryan. Do me a solid. I’ll take any tests you like, and you can just sign me right on through. You know I know this shit. Ian is just being a bastard.”

  “I’m the Dom in Residence here, Mr. Miles, and I have no idea what your training is. I’m not certifying anyone until they’ve completed my course. If you want Master rights here at Sanctum, you’re going to go through me.”

  Miles groaned. “I’m like Billy Madison, stuck in kindergarten.”

  “You’re IQ seems to be in the same place,” another Dom muttered. Ryan seemed to remember his name was Jeff. He was a police officer just beginning to investigate the lifestyle.

  Miles rolled his eyes. “Imagine if you had to go back to the police academy and deal with pimple-faced recruits. No offense, man.”

  Jeff replied with his happy middle finger. The red-haired sub at his feet laid her head in his lap as though she knew what it took to calm her Master. He immediately began stroking her head, his anger tempered.

  Jillian had been able to do that for him. Now he had to manage his own rage.

  At least he could move on with the class. “Do your homework on contracts. There’s a standard contract in your packet, but you need to fill in the blanks. Be sure to go over safe words and hard and soft limits. Don’t leave things blurry. These contracts should make everything plain, including the rights and responsibilities of each party.”

  It is the Dominant’s right and responsibility to offer safety and comfort to the submissive. Comfort will be in all forms including emotional, physical, and financial support.

  Yeah, the financial support was what had tripped him up. His eyes strayed toward Jillian, but he refocused on his class. “Let’s move on to light discipline. Today we’re going to practice some spanking techniques.”

  “Thank God.” Miles sat up straight. “I’m interested in this. Let’s spank some subs!”

  If only there was a Domme in the room who could spank Miles. “First off, the ritual is important, and it’s also necessary to know if you’re spanking for pure discipline or if your intent is more erotic. I’d like to watch your techniques, and we’ll go from there.”

  Miles frowned. “Serena’s on a deadline. I couldn’t bring her with me today.” He took a quick look around. “Hey, Jillian! Come here and let Papa Adam smack your ass. Pretty please? I promise you an ARC of Serena’s latest. Sweetheart Unleashed is coming out in a couple of weeks. You know you want it.”

  He was surprised when Jillian practically ran from behind the bar. She was dressed in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt that would be respectable on someone with less perfect breasts, but they bounced in a way that made his mouth water.

  “Are you talking about Mace, Len and
Cat’s story? I’ve been waiting forever. I’m holding you to this, Adam. I want that book.”

  “Book?” Ryan asked.

  Miles was grinning. “My wife writes erotic romance of the ménage and BDSM type. It’s gotten me in tight with all the subs. Not that I want, like, in the subs. I don’t. I’m perfectly happy at home, but some of the subs are excellent bakers. I’ve been known to trade books for cookies. Serena can’t cook to save her life, and apparently baking is beneath Sean. I’m just a man. I need my sugar. Jilly, honey, whenever you feel the need to make those brown sugar things again, you just send some my way.”

  Ryan felt his brow start to twitch. She was fucking cooking for Adam Miles?

  She grinned, the sight kicking his heart into overdrive and making his cock twitch in his leathers. She had a smile that could light up the room. Room? Hell, when she smiled, his whole fucking world seemed to brighten. “We’re all crazy about Serena’s books. I like to call them sub fantasy books. The Dom always gives in in the end.”

  All of the Doms groaned, but the subs, even the males, were nodding their heads in agreement. They all seemed to know Jillian. In the few weeks she’d been here, she had really made a place for herself. Before she’d been utterly content just being with him. Or had he forced that on her because he was a possessive prick?

  “Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it, suckers,” Miles said with a grin. He winked Jillian’s way and gestured her to his side. Ryan felt his blood pressure tick up as she gracefully fell to her knees beside him.