Submission is Not Enough Kobo Read online

  He craved that respect from her.

  She turned and cursed under her breath. “You could say that. And more than just unfriendlies.”

  Hutch slid in beside her, going down on his knees. “Expect Faith to be right behind me. She had to have seen Des fall. It was Des, right. Shit. On your left, Argent.”

  Hutch popped off a few rounds and Erin laid down some cover fire herself. Trouble was heading their way in the form of Faith McDonald. Ten’s girlfriend was making her way to them.

  So now Ten would beat the shit out of him once he could function again. It was all going to hell and it was his fault.

  “Not losing you, too, Nick. Get it together, mate.” Brody’s hard words brought him back to reality.

  “We have to get to her.” They didn’t leave their people. It was a lesson engraved on his freaking soul. It had been there from birth, he thought sometimes. Case wouldn’t have left him. And then the Navy. His team would have died before leaving a man behind. And Ian and Sean. They would be so ashamed of him.

  “She’s gone,” Erin argued. “That was a headshot. We get the fuck out of here before we lose someone else. Nick, I need you to remember your goddamn training.”

  Somewhere in the background he heard Ten saying something, but all he could think about was the fact that Erin was here and they were about to be surrounded. He wouldn’t have another shot to get to Des. He couldn’t allow Nick to do it. Nick would be far too emotional. It had to be him. He would do it for Nick because if anything ever happened to Erin, he would need someone to bring him her body.

  God, he couldn’t be the one who got Erin killed. He couldn’t. He’d worked so hard to convince her she was safe with him and now…he was doing it all wrong. Cool. Calm. Get to Des. Bring her back. Get out.

  He could still do this. He could make this happen.

  “No. You don’t. She’s dead.” Ten’s voice cut through his thoughts. The night had gone quiet around them. Ten was protecting Faith, obviously using every bit of what little energy he had left to force her not to run out and try to treat Des. Faith was a doctor who took her oaths seriously. She was also Ten’s woman and she was going to find out Ten took that damn seriously. “Erin’s right. That was a headshot. The Chinese don’t miss. We have to leave now.”

  Theo could see Des. She was barely out of reach. Maybe if he got low, he could crawl and drag her back to relative safety. “I can’t leave her body. We don’t leave men behind.”

  Ten managed a few steps, enough that he could glare at Theo. “Cut the naïve bullshit, Taggart. If you take a step out from behind that wall, we’re all dead. Des proved that. This is a clusterfuck situation and I assure you that we leave men behind when they’re corpses and getting them back would produce more corpses. You’ve been in charge up until now. I’m back and we fucking retreat. Do you understand me?”

  Bile threatened again. She was standing right there. Erin. Listening to him being dressed down because he’d fucked up entirely and Des was dead. She was dead. His first command and this is how it turned out. He’d been worried about his brothers? Erin wouldn’t forgive him. “Yes, sir. This is my fault, sir.”

  “There’s time for recriminations later. Let’s get our people to safety now.” Ten’s hand found Faith’s. He was solid. Even after everything he’d been through, Ten stood tall and made the hard call without hesitation. “Markovic, we’re leaving.”

  The Russian stood. He looked blank, like a mask of nothingness had fallen over his face. “Yes, sir.”

  Nick wouldn’t forget or forgive.

  Would he be able to look any of them in the eyes again? All his life he’d wanted to do one thing. He’d wanted to be a soldier and now he wasn’t sure he would be able to find a team who could trust him again.

  Ten moved out. “Stay behind me.”

  The horror of the evening sat in his gut, but he had to finish the mission before he dealt with the fallout. Before he had to look at the woman he loved and know she couldn’t trust him in the field. And if she couldn’t trust him in the field, she would never truly trust him anywhere else. He had to get her to safety before he dealt with the fact that he’d gotten a teammate killed. “Can you walk? Brody, take our six.”

  Ten walked stiffly ahead of him. “I’ll make it and if I don’t, you better leave me the fuck behind and get Faith the hell out of here. We’re going to have a long talk about bringing her on this clusterfuck of an operation.”

  “Why wouldn’t you be able to walk?” Faith clung to his hand as they started to make their way toward the back of the building.

  “Later, Doc. Move now or your father’s men are going to cut us all down. They won’t be able to tell who you are. They’ll put a bullet in you with the rest of us. And watch your back. Your sister is still in that building.”

  Erin moved close to him. He could feel the brush of her body against his as they crept along the wall.

  “I can handle it,” Faith replied.

  There was another volley of gunfire, but it was obvious the enemy had lost them in the shadows. The fire was to the north and they were moving south and west.

  “Keep your head down,” Ten commanded. “I think we got most of them, but I promise reinforcements are on the way. We need to move and quickly. You’re lucky you came up the back or they would have torn you apart.”

  Brody brought up the rear, keeping his eyes on Nick. “They’ve got a sniper somewhere. That shot at Des didn’t come from the ground.”

  Theo took point. Yes, he’d lost command, but he damn well was going to be the one to lead them out. He wasn’t letting Tennessee take a bullet. If there was a bullet coming for them, it was damn straight going through him first.

  “He’s likely on the roof of the main house.” Ten’s voice was a low, pained growl. “It’s well within range and if I had planned a meeting with MSS, I damn well would have had cover. It would have been easy to switch positions and start picking us off. Where are the vehicles?”

  “Erin had me park on the side of the building,” Faith replied.

  “Good girl. More cover.” Ten moved closer to the edge. He stopped, breathing in for a second.

  Theo whispered, unable to hold it in a second longer. Everything had gone to hell. “Tennessee, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know about the handoff. I didn’t think about snipers or any of this.”

  Ten frowned at him from the shadows. “No. You were thinking about being the hero in front of your girl and showing big brother that you can handle yourself. Expect to be scrubbing the floors at McKay-Taggart with your fucking tongue after this.”

  “Ten, he was trying to save you,” Faith argued quietly.

  There was no defense. Ten was right. He wouldn’t have a job after this. He likely wouldn’t have a girl, either. And he fucking deserved to lose it all. “Don’t. He’s right. I fucked up and now Des is dead.”

  Ten shoved off the wall. “Suck it up, buttercup. You can deal with the ramifications of your decision making when we’re all off this fucking island. The op is over. We get the hell out. I’m not losing anyone else. Am I understood?”

  Theo understood everything. He understood that he was the reason Des was dead and Nick would mourn for the rest of his life. Shame washed through him, but he had to find a way to get through the next few moments. He would deal with all of it later.

  Ten moved another few feet, his body obviously struggling. Theo was going to have to force the issue. He knew Ten didn’t trust him, but it didn’t matter.

  Ten stopped, slumping against the wall. “I’m going to need someone else to take the front. I can’t move fast enough.”

  Thank god. At least he was going to be reasonable. They were rapidly running out of time.

  “What’s wrong?” Faith asked as Theo started to move.

  “Later, Doc.” Ten reached out and gripped Theo’s arm, his eyes shining in the gloom. “If I fall, you leave me. That’s an order. You get her out of here. You get them all out of here. I am not worth this.
Do you understand me?”

  He understood. He wasn’t losing another single man. He was going to get them all home safely. No matter what.

  The lights blinked on and Theo bit back a curse. They had to move and now.

  “Shit.” Ten cursed behind him and Theo could feel him hitting the ground. “Down. The shooters are behind the front wall, but they’ll figure out that we’re retreating so they will come over that wall and enter the compound. I want you to stay low and close to me.”

  Theo’s knees jarred as he followed Ten’s excellent instincts. They needed to make themselves as small a target as possible. The shooters likely didn’t know exactly where they were and they would be nervous, too. He needed to use their hesitation to his team’s advantage.

  “I got her back.” Erin was behind Faith and he wished like hell she was behind him. He couldn’t protect her. She wouldn’t allow it. “When we get out in the open, head for the van. It’s got the most cover. I’ll drive since I know the road. Hutch can follow in the Jeep and Brody can keep everyone off our ass from the back.”

  “I will join him. I will do my job.” Nick’s voice was cold.

  How would he ever look Nick in the face again?

  “Brody, pop up and give us some cover,” Ten commanded. “We go on three.”

  Theo let everything else go. He was the point. He was the gatekeeper and he wasn’t going to fuck up again. Three. He took a deep breath. Two. He was a rock. He wouldn’t let anything get through to his people. One. Go time.

  “Go,” Ten said.

  Theo stepped out. It was as though time slowed down and he could think in this place. It was a good headspace to be in. He let go of everything except the job at hand. His senses seemed to heighten as he raised his weapon. The tango rolled out from his cover and he heard the shot sound a mere second before he aimed and fired his own. Two to the chest. Nice and easy.

  He was the far better shot. He waited a second for more, but it appeared the tango had been alone. Excellent. He’d been in front and he wouldn’t have a chance to signal to his team where they were going.

  He turned back, looking to his team. “We’re clear. Go.”

  He couldn’t get a deep breath. Something was off and his chest felt weird. Pressure. He felt an odd pressure in his chest. They needed to move, but he couldn’t quite. He reached down with his free hand. Why was he wet?

  “No!” Erin was staring at him. The world seemed to narrow down to her face as she ran toward him.

  Vaguely he heard the pop of more gunfire, but he was falling.

  Someone was screaming. Something about hope. He wasn’t wet. He was bleeding. Fucker hadn’t been as bad a shot as he’d thought.

  He felt someone dragging him, his body a useless thing now. It had done its job. It had stopped the bullet from hitting Ten or god, Erin. His whole body ached, but there was some comfort in that. He looked up at the sky. The stars were so fucking bright here.

  Just for a second he wished they were here for a different reason. He wished he could bring her here and stay in one of the beach bungalows. It would be their honeymoon, but they wouldn’t be alone. He’d spent too many years without his brothers, and Erin had never truly had a family to love her. They would get married on the beach and then spend a week playing and fishing and being together.

  They would sit under the stars and know they had a future. Hell, maybe one day he would convince her to have a kid or two. They would bring their children here, tiny boys and girls who would never truly understand that their parents had begun their lives here.

  Was he dying?

  “Hope, please. Please. You know you can save him. Open this fucking door.”

  He wasn’t sure who was talking. Faith, maybe. All he could see was Erin.

  “You have to go, baby,” he said. She was hauling his ass back to cover, but he couldn’t allow it. “Have to leave me.”

  She didn’t say a word, merely kept moving. That was his Erin. She was a slender woman, but so fucking strong. She had walls built of concrete around her and so damn high it felt like he’d never breach them. Oh, but when he’d gotten inside he’d found what he’d expected. Sweet. Soft. Loving. All for him.

  Would she remember him? Would she remember that he’d been the one to get Des killed, or would she remember he’d stepped into a bullet for them? For her? It would all be okay if Erin lived. Hell, it might be better. His brothers might not be ashamed of him. She might remember him as something other than a fuckup.

  His vision sort of focused but it wasn’t Erin looking at him. Faith’s eyes stared down.

  “It’s bad, Doc.” He didn’t recognize his own voice. It seemed to rattle out of his chest. Where had Erin gone? Had she run? Had Ten gotten her out? God, he hoped so. Run, baby. Be safe. God, he wanted her to be happy. He wanted her to find a man worthy of her who would love her and protect her and teach her it was all right to open up. She had so fucking much to give. He was always so possessive of her, but now, in the moment, he realized it would be okay. His love was larger than the singular possession of her body. He loved her soul and it would need someone. He would praise that man, be grateful to him.

  Because he realized that moment that it wouldn’t be him.

  Something warm touched him, holding his hand.

  His girl. Fuck, but she was pretty. So little time. They’d wasted it in the beginning. He wished he could go back to that first day. He would look her in the eyes and tell her there would never be another woman for him. Not ever.

  If he had to go, at least it was with her holding his hand. He loved that curly red hair and the way her skin was brushed with freckles. She hated them, but he could spend a lifetime counting them and kissing them.

  “We need to move. They’re coming over the wall.” Brody was somewhere behind him, reminding Theo that Erin was still in danger.

  “I can’t move him,” Faith said.

  He opened his mouth to tell them all to run, but a shudder went through him as he tried to breathe. He could barely breathe. It hurt and Erin’s hand clung so tightly to his that he was sure she would crush him. Such small hands to hold all that strength.

  Faith was talking. It was something about his lung. Definitely his lung. It was all kinds of fucked up. Couldn’t breathe. Pain flared through him, but he needed to talk. He’d promised Ten and now he needed reciprocity.

  “Get Erin out of here, Ten.” A cough rattled through him.

  Erin’s face loomed over his, his ferocious warrior. His queen. He so wished he’d been her king. “Don’t. Don’t you dare do this, Theo. You promised me.”

  He’d promised her a lot of things. He’d promised to be better for her. He’d promised to give her everything he had. He’d manipulated their last assignment to get himself in her bed. This assignment. It had started out in Africa and they’d been posing as a D/s couple. He, the Master, and she the bratty, lovable sub. He’d used his position to force her to finally see him, to let him in. Months he’d had to work on her and now he saw it in her eyes. She cared for him.

  He wasn’t going to keep all his promises, but he’d kept one.

  He touched her face, memorizing it with his fingertips. He knew every inch of her body, but he always found something new to love about her. “I did. Promised I’d love you until I died. Kept it, baby. Kept it.”

  Faith’s hand closed on his chest, making him groan. She didn’t seem to understand that he was done. “I need something plastic.”

  “They’re coming.” Nick stood over him, his eyes not unkind as he looked down. But there was a gravity to them. Nick knew what Faith did not.

  “I’ll get the van started.” Hutch nodded to him, their eyes meeting in silent promise. Hutch would watch over her. Hutch had been his friend for years. He would watch Erin, make sure she was all right.

  He had seconds left. Oh, his body might go on for a few moments more, but she had to leave. He stared at Erin. His love. His joy. Did she know how much joy she’d brought him? “Let Case tak
e care of you. He won’t…he won’t know what to do. Took care of me so long, he doesn’t know what to do with himself. Now go, baby. I’m done.”

  He let his head roll back. He felt a bit stronger than he wanted her to know. Faith’s hand on his chest made it easier for him to breathe. He might make it long enough to have one of the senator’s men shoot him in the head. But Erin would live. His team would live.

  He was going to miss his brothers, but she was everything. They would take care of her. He had not a single doubt in his head. His brothers would watch out for the love of his life. She would be family to them, a Taggart if not in name then by the force of his love.

  “No. You promised.” Erin held his hand to her chest and he felt something wet hit his face.

  She was crying. For him.

  “Such a pretty girl.” He didn’t want her to cry. “Don’t cry. You never cry.”

  “Don’t do this to me.” Her jaw was set in a stubborn line. “You don’t get to do this, Taggart.”

  “Erin, ask Tag…” He could barely speak. He had to tell her, had to ask this one thing of her. “Fuck, ask Tag to forgive me.”

  Her head shook. “No. No. You tell him yourself.”

  “Love you, baby. Forever.” He went still. They were out of time. He was too weak, but he could make one last sacrifice for her. She would stay with him. She would die with him. They all would.

  “Theo? Theo?” Erin’s voice became panicked and she tried to shake him.

  He wanted to hold on to her forever, but he let his body go limp. Right before he gave in to the darkness, he felt her warmth. She’d loved him.

  That meant she could love someone else, someone better. It meant she could move on and find the life she deserved and his family would stand beside her.

  She wasn’t alone. He’d done that one thing for her.

  It was so odd that he wasn’t angry, wasn’t sad. All he could feel as his strength drained was an overwhelming grace.