From Sanctum with Love ARe Read online

  Bastard. It was one thing to let it happen, but Kai was a nasty sadist who likely knew begging wasn’t something she normally did. She hated it.

  “Or take it for herself,” he offered as though he could read her thoughts.

  He was giving her an out. If she didn’t want to verbally beg, she could rub herself against his finger and everyone would know that she’d been so hot for Kai it didn’t matter who was watching.

  For some that would be a horrible humiliation. For her it was kind of exciting. Who the hell wouldn’t want Kai Ferguson? No one could look at that man, get to know his way-too-intellectual heart, and not want him. Especially the dirty Dom side of him.

  It went briefly through her head that if she did this with him, there would be no going back, no way to turn the clock setting to just friends again, but she shoved that thought out of her head. Kai was the most level-headed man in the world. If anyone could compartmentalize, it was Kai. He likely wouldn’t see anything weird with playing every now and then and having a perfectly professional relationship at the office.

  This could work out. She was being pessimistic. This could be good for both of them. He didn’t have a play partner who genuinely needed what he was offering and no one could give her what Kai did.

  A hard thwack brought her out of her thoughts. “Don’t you leave me. You stay here with me.”

  His finger pressed up and around and she could feel him sliding against her clitoris.

  She moved against him. Everyone would be able to see it. Everyone would see that she wasn’t willing to simply lie there and take what he gave her. She needed more. Craved more. This was how Kai would give them their bit of revenge—seeing the most controlled sub in Sanctum lose her shit over an orgasm.

  Her hips moved, and without another thought, she gave over to Kai. It was oddly easy since she trusted him completely in this. He would never give her more than she could handle. She started slow, letting herself feel him. Her skin was still flushed and hot, an ache in her bones that spurred her to want more.

  “Not enough?” Kai asked before smacking her ass with his free hand.

  She groaned at the pain and then the pleasure as her hips slid over his finger again. She felt something teasing at the outside of her pussy. Likely his thumb. Over and around and the tiniest bit inside. When she moved against him, she got more.

  “This, Jared, is what I like to call a dirty little masochist.” Every word out of Kai’s mouth sounded like sin. He smacked her again and she gave up even pretending to not want it. “She needs the pain to allow herself the pleasure. She’s been holding out on herself, not allowing anyone to give her what she craves.” Another smack. “She needs a sadist who cares about her, who won’t let her go too far because when she gets going she’ll be like an addict. She’ll want to prove how much she can take. This pretty girl needs a Dom who can handle her.”

  She rode his finger, giving over for the first time in what felt like forever. It didn’t matter—all the reasons why it was a bad idea, all her good intentions—none of them mattered. All that mattered was the feel of Kai’s finger rubbing against her, his thumb penetrating her.

  They found their rhythm. Between the ache his slaps brought and the pleasure of his fingers, she couldn’t hold out. It had been far too long since she’d indulged, truly indulged in submission this way. She groaned as his thumb arced up at the precise right time, mingling with the sensation of her clitoris being rubbed, and she did it. She cried out, not holding back. Her fingers sank against the padded benches and her toes curled and she let loose.

  Her whole body relaxed as she started to come down. The lovely fog she hadn’t felt in years settled over her as she felt Kai remove his hand.

  “Now I think I’ll indulge in a bit of aftercare. Jared, pass me the hand wipes and then I’ll get on with ensuring her skin isn’t too bruised tomorrow,” Kai was saying.

  “Don’t take it all away,” she complained.

  She felt a hand on her back. “I wouldn’t dream of it, but you should hush now. I’m leaving you tied until I’m done with you.”

  She sighed and settled back in. It wasn’t time for reality yet.

  * * * *

  Kai was ready to punch something. Hard. Maybe if he punched his brother his dick would calm down. Violence could be his friend. “No, I don’t want to go to some dance club.”

  Jared seemed invigorated by the night’s lesson. He seemed unable to sit still, but his energy wasn’t restless or upset. Kai had been surprised. He’d kind of expected baby brother to judge him, but Jared had been totally helpful, even being quiet during most of Kori’s aftercare.

  God, he’d started that scene telling himself it meant nothing beyond a way to honor his contract with Jared. When he’d realized she’d lied about her needs, he’d almost lost his damn mind. She’d lied to him, kept her inner nature from him. He’d wanted to smack her ass, twist her nipples, put a clamp on her clit. There had been a moment when he’d wanted to break her and truly show her that he was her natural Master.

  There had to be a reason she hid it. Kori wouldn’t play games or lie for the sake of lying. She was still hiding something from him and he was smart enough to know that he couldn’t demand some truths. Some truths had to be earned with trust.

  And he didn’t want to break her. That was the nasty bastard inside him, the one he fed small bites but never full meals. He wanted to free her.

  She’d been perfectly submissive, her whole body soft and relaxed from the orgasm he’d given her. She’d complied with his every instruction and allowed him full access to her body. If he’d wanted to he likely could have had her. He could have opened his leathers and forced his stiff dick deep inside her. She wouldn’t have complained that he was rough. No, she would enjoy his hands on her, his cock thrusting hard.

  Who the fuck was he kidding? Wanted? He’d been dying to get inside her, and one thing and one thing only had held him back. It certainly wasn’t the crowd. He’d meant what he’d said. He wasn’t the exhibitionist Kori was, but he wouldn’t have minded showing every single person there that he was the one she submitted to. He was the only Dom in the room who could handle her. Damn but that had been a high. No, he would have viewed fucking her as a badge of honor with the singular exception that he wasn’t about to get his freak on while his brother was watching.

  He’d finally found the one thing that icked him out. He was damn near impossible to truly offend. Some chick got off getting peed on? Good for her. Dude liked to spend his off time eating out of a dog bowl? Nice going, buddy.

  He couldn’t have sex in front of his brother. Even when he really, really wanted to have sex. And that made him pissy.

  “Come on, Kai,” Jared said. “You’re going to love this place. I’ve been told it’s the hottest club in Dallas. They’ve already roped off the VIP section of the club for us. You showed me some of your world tonight. Let me show you some of mine.”

  He turned to explain to his brother that he didn’t need to see a world where drunk chicks fawned all over his brother and the paparazzi made their living getting pictures of him. He ended up shaking his head because Jared was folding his clothes. Stark naked. “How about you show me less of your junk? God, do you have to leave that out there to swing around like that?”

  Jared grinned and held his arms out. “What can I say? The beast likes to be free.”

  “Looking good, man.” Chris Roberts gave his brother a thumbs-up.

  “Thank you,” Jared replied with an open smile.

  Kai gave Chris a stare. “Won’t your Dom be interested in knowing you think that?”

  Chris smiled, though his head did go down submissively. “My Dom asked me to sneak pictures, but I’m more afraid of Big Tag than I am of him. Sorry.”

  Chris didn’t look up again as he walked back toward his locker.

  “This is a fully integrated locker room. Straight, gay, and bi. That doesn’t bother you?”

  Jared shrugged and didn’t go
for his clothes. “This body is a work of art in all worlds. When did you turn into such a prude? And while I’m straight, I have zero problems with my gay brothers and sisters. I was named Gay Fantasy Male of the Year two years running. I have the giant dildos on my mantle.”

  He should have known. “And I’m not a prude. Not normally. You’re just…you’re my brother and I don’t want that thing swinging around in front of me.”

  When had it grown to monstrous proportions?

  “All right, I’ll give you that.” There was the sound of a locker opening. “I’m putting on pants because you were nice and actually admitted that you’re my brother.”

  “I haven’t lied about it.” He hadn’t advertised it either.

  “You tried to tell my publicist that you were my lifestyle expert.”

  “Well, that’s what the contract calls me.” It wasn’t like he’d lied. He’d been trying to speak as little as possible to Thad or Brad or whatever asswipe Jared had brought with him. “And it’s not like you advertise. You changed your name.”

  “You can look up. I’m perfectly covered now,” Jared said.

  Kai turned and rolled his eyes. Jared’s version of covered didn’t match with his. “Shirt? Did you even bring one with you?”

  “Do you shake your fist at kids who walk on your lawn?” Jared sighed and pulled out his T-shirt, dragging it over his head. “There. I’ll bring a turtleneck tomorrow. And Jared Johns sounded more professional than Jared Ferguson.”

  “It makes you sound like a porn star.” He was not a grumpy old man. He wouldn’t let his brother turn him into one.

  Jared nodded, completely missing the point. “I know, right? It’s cool. And you were definitely trying to distance yourself from me when you were talking to Brad. You didn’t want him to know you’re my brother. It didn’t work because I already told them all.”

  Kai leaned back against the locker because it looked like this was going to take a few minutes. “I wasn’t trying to distance. Not the way you think.”

  “All right, what were you doing?”

  “I was trying to get away from that asshole as soon as possible. He’s obnoxious and shallow and I’m worried because every single person you spend time with seems fairly despicable as a human being.”

  “I will admit that entertainment types don’t rank high on the lovely human being list. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve found some great people, but they don’t tend to be the type of person who’s willing to spend all their time following an actor around.” Jared ran a hand over his close-cropped hair. “Look, I had a great publicist at one point. She was a wonderful woman, but I need someone who can travel, and oddly enough, she loved her husband and two kids. Same thing with my first agent. Great guy. He retired so he could play golf and get out of the war, as he would say. He’d taken enough bullets. I loved them. They took care of me after…well, they were there for me when I needed them.”

  “Why hire the assholes you’ve got now?”

  “Because it was hard to lose them. Because at the end of the day, I needed more than Janice could give me and firing her was a horrible moment in my life. If I fire Tad, it won’t hurt. If Brad suddenly disappears, I’ll find another trainer and move on. I often think about firing Lena because she annoys the shit out of me on a daily basis. Which is exactly the reason I keep her around.”

  Was his brother actually trying to stay grounded? Jared wouldn’t believe the fawning praise of people he didn’t like. He wouldn’t be able to get lost in his own fame if he was always questioning the people around him. Of course he also couldn’t be comfortable, couldn’t truly enjoy all that his success had brought him.

  Maybe Jared’s life wasn’t as fulfilling as it seemed. Of course he always had his abs. “I can understand that. You move around a lot, don’t you?”

  Jared sat down on the bench in front of the lockers. “I spend a good deal of time in Vancouver, where we shoot the show. I love it up there. The cast is fun. The crew is like a family. I like the house I bought.”

  But there was hesitation in his voice. “And that’s wrong, why?”

  “Because shows end and I’m being pressured to take this next big step and move fully into movies.”

  “I thought the show was doing well.” It seemed completely crazy to him that whole populations of human beings wanted to spend their time watching his brother throw darts at people while finding the thinnest reasons for shedding his shirt, but Dart was a popular show.

  “It’s good, but my seven-year contract is up in two years and my agent is already talking about leaving the show so I can get more film work. Even if the network reups the show, they can’t force me to sign a contract. It might be the right time for me to get out of the TV business.”

  “Do you like the TV business?”

  His brother’s lips turned up. “Yeah. They let me direct a couple of episodes last year. I loved being behind the camera. I mean yes, it’s fourteen-hour days, but at least it’s in the same place. When I make a movie I live out of a suitcase. I’m not home for more than a few days before I start it all over again. Between filming, training, promoting, I spend very little time in any one place. What I like about TV is we all stay together for years at a time. It feels more stable.”

  Which his brother would need given their chaotic childhood. Jared had gone to four elementary schools alone. Their mother moved whenever the going got tough. She was a wonderful mom, but she was always looking for the greener pasture. “Then don’t leave. It’s a simple issue. You don’t want to leave, you stay.”

  Jared nodded. “Of course. Well, that’s that.”

  He started to turn away, but couldn’t help but think about all the times Jared had come to him when they were kids, asking for his advice because he didn’t know what to do. Jared often worried about what the people around him thought. He listened to too many voices when he was a kid. Kai blamed it on his popularity when they were younger. Now he understood that Jared needed to please the people around him. It was part of him.

  “You also pick people you don’t like so they don’t have as much influence on you. You don’t necessarily listen to people you don’t like.”

  Jared stood, straightening out his clothes. “I suppose you would call it a coping mechanism.”

  “Yes, but it’s not one that’s going to make you happy.” From a therapist’s perspective, he knew no one really changed who they were at the core of their being. The choices a person made, those could be changed. Thoughtful decisions could change a path. Jared was trying. “Is this a decision you’re making between what you think is best for your career and what you truly want on a personal level?”

  Jared didn’t turn. “Yes.”

  Then the solution was simple. Careful inner awareness would bring about the proper conclusion, one Jared would be able to live with. He’d interned with a therapist in high school as part of a work program for inner city kids. It had set him on his path. Even back then, he tried to make careful decisions. “All right. We need to sit down and make a pros and cons list.”

  When Jared’s head turned up, there was a little smirk on his face. “And then we’ll assign each item a variable weight.”

  Had he really sounded so pretentious? He did believe in the practice, but over the last fifteen years he’d perfected a less technical explanation. “Not everything is even. You can’t look at five cons and two pros and decide to nix an idea if those two pros are deeply important. We can sit down and discuss it if you would like.”

  “I would like.” Jared reached into his locker and grabbed his jacket. “Maybe we can talk about it tonight at the club.”

  “I’m not going to the club.” He had something else he needed to do. He needed to get out of here and catch Kori. They had some serious talking to do. “It’s almost one in the morning. Why would you go to a club now?”

  “We’re not all early risers, brother. Lots of fun things happen after midnight. I’m surprised you decided to hang it up so early. The re
st of the club is still hopping.”

  He’d overheard Kori telling Sarah she was ready to go home. He meant to stop her in the lobby. It would take her some time to get dressed and Sarah had been in full fet wear. That worked in his favor. “I need to talk to Kori.”

  He’d taken his time untying the ropes that had bound her. He’d played with her along the way, pulling the rope taut and then smacking her with it. He’d loved the squeals and the way she’d squirmed. He’d loved running his hands over her pink flesh. But when it was over, he’d gone to get her a robe and she’d disappeared. He’d tracked her down to the bar where he’d heard her talking to Sarah and Mia and made the decision to talk to her outside the club.

  They would sit down and discuss what had happened rationally and honestly. He would rationally and honestly explain to her that there was no fucking way he was going to let her go.

  Hell no.

  “Are you going to talk to her? Or are you going to kiss her?”

  “Are you five years old?”

  Jared shrugged. “I can’t tease my big brother? Because from where I was sitting you were totally into that girl. Literally, at one point of the evening. I was surprised. I thought you were going to fuck her. I would have.”

  “Don’t even talk about it.”

  “Sorry, she’s lovely. That Sarah is pretty, too. She’s got a mouth on her. Little brat.”

  “Getting into character?” He grabbed his kit.

  “Uhm, yeah. Definitely. So why haven’t you and Kori hooked up before?”

  He’d thought about this question incessantly since the moment he touched her. “Because I don’t hook up with anyone. I have relationships. Some are shorter than others. My relationship with Kori has been platonic.”

  “That didn’t look platonic.”

  It hadn’t felt that way either. “It’s something we need to talk about.”

  “You’ve liked her before tonight though, right?”

  Why was he asking about this? “Like I said, we were friends.”

  “Because you didn’t seem happy to find me talking to her,” Jared pointed out.