Love Another Day Page 14

So the sex she’d had with Brody had at least been for the right reason, to bring pleasure to them both.

  “It wasn’t. Oh, it got the job done, no doubt,” he rumbled as he stared down at her. “But it didn’t fix my soul or yours. It didn’t connect us the way it should have. I want that connection. I want to feel you, and not only in a physical way. This isn’t playing. Playing is a silly word for what I want from you.”

  “What word would you use?”

  “Everything. I want everything.”

  She couldn’t give him that, but she could give him tonight. Well, she could be with him for as long as Nate would allow. He slept fairly well, but certainly not through the night. What was she doing? “Nate’s going to wake up.”

  His hands tightened slightly, gently forcing her to look up at him. “And I’ll feed him and change his nappy and rock him back to sleep. And then I’ll get back to making sure his mum can sleep, too. I’ve been gone and it was wrong of me. Let me make a bit of that up to you.”

  “Brody,” she began because she didn’t want to lead him to believe this was really going anywhere beyond tonight.

  “Don’t think and don’t argue. Let me take care of you. Let me show you everything is going to be okay.”

  “For tonight,” she insisted.

  “If that’s all you can accept,” he allowed. “But we’re going to do this my way.”

  His head lowered down, sensual lips brushing hers. A rush of heat flashed through her body and it felt like her skin was alive with sensation. Even where he wasn’t touching her, her skin was primed, like a flower that knew it was finally going to get some love from the sun.

  He kissed her, his lips moving over hers in a slow, methodical fashion. It was far from the way it had been the first time. The first time, he’d gone fast, passionate, like he couldn’t wait to swallow her whole.

  This was different. This was thoughtful, meditative.

  Was he taking his time because he felt differently about her now that she was a mom? Was she not as sexy as she’d been before Nate? Her body had changed. She hadn’t shed all the pregnancy pounds yet. She wasn’t a supermodel with two trainers, a nutritionist, and a chef.

  “Stop thinking,” he whispered. “I know that big brain of yours is working. I can feel it. Stop. There’s no thinking tonight. No analyzing. There’s just you and me and what I can do to your body. Drop the towel, Stephanie.”

  She bit her bottom lip. “Maybe we should go to the bed.”

  “Because I turned the light off so Nate could sleep? I didn’t. The light on the nightstand is still on and if it wasn’t I would turn it on. I’m not fucking you in the dark. You’re going to look in my eyes and say my name and I’m going to do the same. It’s going to be you and me, and no pretending it ain’t exactly what it is. Drop that towel and let me look at you. I close my eyes every damn night since the day I met you and do you know what I see? I see you. I see you laughing and frowning, and they’re equally beautiful because they’re equally you. Since the night when we made Nate all I can see is you sleeping in that bed. I didn’t sneak out right away, you know. I stayed for three hours. I held you for the longest time and watched you while you slept. I only left when I had to and I did it because I thought it was best for you. You’ve been a ghost haunting me every night since that one.”

  Somehow she couldn’t believe that. She’d been the one who sat up every night thinking about him. He’d been in his happy London club. “Somehow I think the subs at The Garden took care of you. It’s all right, Brody. We weren’t together. It was one night and it didn’t change anything.”

  One hand tugged the band out of her hair, spilling it across her shoulders. “I think the baby sleeping in the next room is evidence that night changed everything. And I’m trying to tell you that I haven’t had another woman since I left you. I wasn’t off gallivanting around and forgetting you. I spent every moment of our time away from each other miserable as hell. So let that towel drop and give me what I’ve only seen in my dreams for a year. Let me see you.”

  She wasn’t sure why she did it, but her feet moved. She stepped back, putting a small but critical distance between them as her hands floated up and she dropped the towel.

  The offering of a submissive to her chosen Dominant.

  The towel hit the floor and she felt herself flush. She wasn’t as pretty as she’d been the first time. Now she had stretch marks that spoke of her pregnancy. Her belly was still rounded, her breasts not as firm.

  “Stop it,” he said. “Don’t you think about anything but how the air feels on your skin. Don’t you think about how you look. I’ll tell you what I see. I see the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known. I see that my dreams of her were nothing compared to the real thing. She’s stunning and my heart aches at the thought of her not understanding how beautiful she is.”

  “Brody, I still haven’t lost the weight I gained with Nate,” she said, trying not to let his words affect her too much. She was already on the verge of tears, and she’d cried enough.

  “You get one,” he said, his voice deep. “One time I’ll let you get away with saying something like that, but now you know the rule. You are beautiful and thinking or saying anything else about yourself will end in discipline.”

  “You can’t control my thoughts.” But she could feel her lips curling up at the very arrogance of him thinking he could. This was the Brody she’d fallen for. She’d known his larger-than-life, damn the torpedoes attitude had been half truth and half cover, but she’d adored it when he would walk in, take control, and do something or say something ridiculously over the top to make her day better.

  “Watch me,” he replied. “After I’ve spanked the hell out of that gorgeous arse a dozen times, you won’t think that way again. I’ll tie you up and torture you until you agree with me that you’re the most gorgeous woman on the earth.”

  “Fine, I’m gorgeous.” She didn’t believe it, but standing here felt weird. “Shouldn’t you get undressed? Or did you change your mind?”

  His eyes roamed over her body, not missing an inch. “I didn’t change my mind at all. I told you how this is going to be. The first time we did this, I let you push me.”

  “The first time we did this, you didn’t want to.”

  His eyes narrowed. “You know damn well that’s not true. Turn around and put your hands on the side of the tub.”

  “Why would I…” The answer hit her with the force of a steam engine. “You want to spank me?”

  It should have come out in that horrified, I’m-a-feminist, shocked tone she often used when a random asshole told her she was cute to think she could be a doctor but they would prefer to see a man for their medical needs. Nope. It came out all breathy and porny. The porny part might have been because when she watched porn—rarely—she gravitated toward the movies where the big, dominant man spanked his lover to orgasm.

  Which likely was a myth. Like most porn.

  “Yes, and every second you make me wait is another smack to that pretty arse of yours.” His hands were on his hips, his jaw squared as he looked her over. “If you push me too hard, I’ll find a way to clamp your nipples and then I’ll spank you.”

  What was she doing? She was standing here naked with a man who’d broken her heart once already.

  “Tell me you don’t want to know what it feels like.” His voice had lost its harsh edge, sliding into silky smoothness. “Tell me you don’t want to try it once. You’re the woman who was brave enough to get on your knees and present yourself to me like the sweetest treat I’ve ever been offered. Do what I’m asking. You can always stop me. One word will work tonight. No is all I need to hear. If you say that, then I’ll get you dressed and I’ll sleep beside you so you know you’re safe. But I think you’re braver than that. I think you’re still a woman who knows what she wants.”

  “How do you know I haven’t already tried it?” The minute the words were out of her mouth, she wanted to call them back. She’d spat them out to pr
otect herself, as though saying cruel words to him could throw some sort of force field around her.

  Because deep down she did know what Li had been trying to tell her. Deep inside she knew Brody wasn’t as arrogant as he seemed sometimes. Under that blustery exterior, there was a man who wasn’t sure of how smart he was, how worthy he was.

  Before she could apologize, he moved into the space again, a sad smile playing on his face as his fingertips brushed over her cheek. “I know because you wanted me and then you were pregnant. I know because you wouldn’t have changed your mind and heart that quickly. I was stupid to think you had a boyfriend, but then I was blindly jealous, and I hope you can forgive me for that. Hell, luv, I need you to forgive me for a lot of things, but we can deal with that another time. For tonight, let me give you what you want. Let me do what I should have done that first night. Let me show you how good this can be.”

  She was afraid. Afraid to want him. Afraid to hope that this could be something good.

  She let it all go and focused on him.

  “Tell me something, luv.” He leaned over and kissed her forehead, the light touch of his lips making her shiver. “Are you thinking about anything but me right now?”

  She wasn’t now. Everything else had melted away and she realized that she needed this. Needed him. Tomorrow would make sense of itself. Tonight she was going to know what it meant to be his sub.

  She turned and placed her hands on the side of the big tub. At some point he’d pulled the plug and the water was all gone now, but the whole place still smelled like the lavender bath salts she’d used. She breathed it in, letting the comforting scent wash over her.

  She heard Brody moving behind her and tried to relax. She’d made her decision—to give him control, to let go for once in her life. She wasn’t in charge of this. He was. She had to trust him.

  “Now that is a beautiful sight.” His voice seemed to roll over her skin like a warm wave, warmer than the water she’d sunk herself into. “This is what I missed out on. How much sex have you had, luv?”

  She tensed, a vision of the ways she’d degraded herself flashing through her.

  His hand steadied her, pressing on her lower back. “I wasn’t asking because I care how many men you’ve had. I don’t. I was asking if I was the only man you’ve had in the last couple of years.”

  That was better. She had a good answer to that question. “Before you I hadn’t had sex in four years.”

  He groaned. “Well, I’m going to make up for that because this is how it’s going to go. It’s going be long and slow and I’m going to know every single inch of this beautiful body like it’s a map I need to memorize. I’ll be able to close my eyes and know how many kisses it takes to get from your mouth to your nipple to your sweet belly to that pussy I’m going to eat like a starving man.”

  Every word seemed to turn on an invisible switch in her body, winding and winding her up until she was sure she would uncoil the moment he touched her again. She managed to hold perfectly still as he traced the curve of her spine with his fingertips.

  “This is a spankable arse.” He cupped her cheeks in one big hand. “Hold on to the side of the tub and try not to scream. Don’t want to wake the baby now, do we?”

  Scream? She was about to ask why she would…and then a crack resounded through the room and she bit her bottom lip, biting back the cry that threatened to erupt. Pain blistered across her backside, the sting hard on her skin. He slapped her ass five times in rapid succession and then soothed his hand over the tender flesh.

  “I know it hurts right now, but give it a moment. Let it work its magic.” His hand held the heat in. “Do you have any idea how lovely you are to me right now? You’re always stunning, but like this you take away my every worry until all I can think about is how I’m going to take care of you. How I’m going to make you crazy for me.”

  That shocking pain was turning into something else. Heat and ache. It sank into her muscles and she could feel herself getting wet. She could feel arousal start to pulse through her system and she breathed a sigh of relief because she hadn’t been entirely certain she would ever want sex again. Since she’d been pregnant, she’d felt sexless and more like a mother than a possible lover. She’d worried something about Nate’s birth had burned out her sex drive.

  Nope. It was good. That sex drive was roaring back to life, and she realized it had nothing to do with time or healing and everything to do with this one man. No one in her life had ever made her hotter than Brody Carter. All he had to do was walk in a room and her hormones lit up.

  Another smack cracked through the air. One and two and three and she couldn’t hold back a low moan.

  “Can you handle more?” Brody asked.

  It would kill her. She would cry. No. She wasn’t giving in and crying might be nice. She held it together all the time. She was the one who had to make all the decisions, take all the blame and responsibility. “Yes.”

  Rapid-fire slaps took over her life and she held on. Nothing mattered except getting through it. She moaned and felt tears slipping from her eyes as he kept up the torture. She didn’t count, didn’t think about when it would end. She gave over and let it take her, let her body accept his discipline and sensitize her skin.

  The room went silent and it took her a second to realize he was done. There was silence between them for a moment, but it wasn’t empty. She could feel his hands on her, feel the will he put into them. He wanted her.

  “Tell me how you feel.” His voice was low as though he was afraid to truly break the quiet communion between them.

  “I hurt and ache, but in the best way.” She’d never felt anything like it. Yes, there was pain, but this wasn’t a wild attempt to release her tension or purge her demons. This was calculated. He knew what he was doing and there was no crazed edge to it. She was safe. She’d gotten to cry, to let some of the toxins in her system go, but in a surgical way.

  There was peace to this, comfort.

  But mostly a wild need she’d never felt before.

  “Come here. We’re done with discipline.” His hands curved up and he helped her balance as she stood on shaky legs. He gently turned her around and she was hauled up against him.

  So big. He was six foot seven inches of pure muscled male, and he overwhelmed her every sense. Even as she felt the ache in her backside, her pussy was warm and soft. Her body felt languid, but she managed to let her arms float up around him. One big hand was on the back of her neck, the other steady against her spine. She was pressed to him, her nipples rubbing against the soft cotton of his shirt. She felt the cool of his belt buckle brush against her belly and the denim of his jeans tangle with her legs as he lowered his head once more.

  His tongue invaded, warm silk stroking her lips and then deep inside her mouth. She didn’t need to breathe. She needed this. She needed long, slow kisses that seemed to go on forever, as though he’d become as important to her as air or water. Every kiss took her higher.

  She needed him.

  The thought scared her, but she pushed it aside. This was for one night only. Tomorrow they would go back to being wary co-parents, but tonight she was taking what she needed.

  He kissed her until she was breathless and then she found herself turned in his arms, her back to his front. His arms wound around her, sliding down her body in a slow exploration. She let her head drift back, resting against his chest as she let him have his way. His callused hands cupped her breasts, testing their weight and learning her curves.

  He rolled her nipples. “How sensitive are you? Tell me if I hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you. Nate’s only two months old.”

  The only way he could hurt her now was by walking away. “I’m fine, Brody. His birth was natural, and despite the fact that he was as big as a freaking linebacker, I didn’t need surgical intervention. Please touch me and don’t make me explain things like episiotomies to you right now. I didn’t have one, by the way.”

  “I don’t want to know
,” he vowed. “I only want to know that you’re healthy and you want this.”

  His big hand covered her belly, easing down her body, inching ever closer to the part of her that needed the most attention.

  “I want it. I want you,” she managed to say. All thoughts of anything but that hand and its destination were gone, banished to the dark regions of her mind.

  “I want you more than I can say. Let me show you how much. Let me show you what I want. I want this pussy soaked for me. I want it warm and wet and ready. I want you to see me walk in a room, remember what I can do to you, and have your whole body make itself ready for me.”

  Every word was a drug working on her system.

  “Please, Brody.” She wasn’t sure how long she could hold out, and that suddenly seemed like a joyous thing. In her daily life she measured time and duties, often merely counting down time until the next day or duty presented itself. Life had become something to be endured rather than celebrated, but she couldn’t wait for this. She needed this more than she needed her next breath.

  She stiffened when she finally felt a single finger slide over the pad of her clitoris.

  “Relax, luv,” he whispered. “Let me get you started and then I’ll show you what I can really do. Can you be good for me? Can you hold still and not scream when you come? Because I’m about to make you come. I’m going to fuck your pussy with my fingers and you’re going to come all over my hand and then we’ll begin again. Do you understand me? But it all stops if you try to take control. This isn’t the clinic or an operating theatre. This is my place. This is where I’m the king and I make the decisions, and you’re my precious submissive who takes all the pleasure I can give her and serves her Master.”

  “Yes. Yes, Brody.” She was shaking with desire and for the first time wondered if she knew what she was getting into. The first time they’d made love had been the best sex of her life, but it had been quick and he hadn’t talked much. He’d inhaled her, but he hadn’t made a slow, decadent meal of her the way he was doing now. He hadn’t tortured her with promises and teased her with words.